One thing I’ve been noticing in myself over the last few months, and I see other people doing it all the time, is thinking that my way is the right way to do things. We all mean well, but the problem is, thinking your way is the only path to take is highly mistaken… What motivates me may not motivate you… The things that help me will not always help you, and in fact, may send you backwards in your journey… Each person has their own journey, their own needs, and their own goals… We need to communicate our needs and accept that others may have a completely different ride than we do.
We all do it… We all think that where we are in our journey has only one path… That’s like saying you can only climb a mountain one way or there is only one way to get across town…. Maybe we see our path as shorter, faster, or better but think about how you got where you are and consider that your weaknesses and strengths are entirely different from anyone else’s… The funny thing about it is that if we’re not worried that we’re doing things the wrong way, we seem to be sure that our way is the right way. This single minded way of approaching personal development helps no one, including you…
With my 90 Day Life Change Challenge blog I have given advice and tried to motivate people the way I did it… I mean no harm, and although my way is not correct for you, you can always take pieces and fragments to make a part of your journey…
Some ways I’ve thought my way was the best way recently:
- I judge people who don’t eat as healthy as me. Especially those who eat fast food.
- I judge people who don’t exercise and think that my way of exercising is the right way to do it.
- I have felt superior to people who smoke, drink, and use drugs (even though I used to do it…).
- I judge people who watch too much TV (even though I’ve done it…)).
I judge hipsters, Internet trolls, gamers, startup culture, cancel culture, racists, misogynists, gluttons, people who have ads on their sites, people who drive tiny cars, people who are on Facebook or Instagram too much, hoarders, people who aren’t neat or organized, people who don’t have their finances together, people who eat meat, non-vegans…
In other words, I judge everyone, in some way or another, for being different from me, and so, it seems, does everyone else. When someone doesn’t do things your way, you judge them. I see my way is right and although I may not think they are entirely wrong, I think people could do better… Yep, I’m a dick… Now listen though, these are just my thoughts and I try to not act on any of them… I’m working on it because I know I am wrong. People are different, people want different things, and I am trying hard to accept everyone as they are…
This is, of course, just our natural reaction to other people who are different than us. When we stop to think about it, our way can’t possibly be the only right way. Other people just have different preferences, and the world would be boring if everyone were the same, if no one did things differently.
Even though my mind sometimes rebels against me, I want multiplicity. I want different ideas, different music, different art and different philosophies. I want a clash of cultures and ideas. I want to be exposed to a constant stream of diversity. I know that I cannot possible “like” everything that comes my way, but what I want to do is learn to not reject it…
So I urge you to pay attention to when you are thinking your way is better than someone else’s or have a dislike for something too quickly… If you dislike a song, don’t dislike the band until you have danced to the whole album... Notice when you are doing it, question it, and see if you can try to be curious about the other person’s way. How can their way be just as good as yours? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you let people love what they love without rejecting their preferences?
How can we drop judgment and embrace curiosity? I’m trying to do this, and struggling with it, but the fight is worth it.
My way isn’t the only way, but I am doing something that everyone SHOULD do… I am making it a priority to listen to people, consider their advice or choices and accept that their preferences are the right ones for them…
The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… I didn’t break any records this morning… After today there are TWO DAYS LEFT!!! One good thing about what has happened to me is that I roll out of bed whether or not I want to, exercise whether or not I want to, practice guitar regardless of my mood, write daily even when I would rather not… This last 90 days has taught me that self-improvement isn’t always something I want, but it has become like breathing, a necessary part of my health and well-being… Even when this 90 days ends, I have another in the works and I think that the 90 day construct has become a permanent part of my life…
See you tomorrow… The day before the last day…
Love you guys like a truck driver loves a long haul…
No comments:
Post a Comment