Thursday, January 21, 2021

Day Ten: Change That Mindset, "Hard Enough" is Not Hard Enough...

 It’s about three weeks into the New Year and I just wanted to check on everyone who made all those New Year’s resolutions. So how are they going? Good I hope and if you are still plugging away, this blog will make you smile…  Everyone else, quit reading here because this isn’t going to be pleasant…

Before we begin, my Amazon account got hacked. This means my phone number was added to the list of annoying assholes who pretend to be everyone from the IRS, to the Amazon “Emergency” Help Desk, the Post Office, FedEx and the “Hey, your social security number has been put on hold due to fraudulent activity”. Then my credit card suddenly had $3,500 dollars in charges and my email address froze… So this blog will be a day late because I have to wait for 48 hours while Google decides if I am me or not… I am fairly certain that I am me, but, we shall see…You thought I skipped a day, didn’t you? Not a chance… I thought it was the perfect opportunity to talk about how you have to keep going in the face of adversity…  

So here we are, the New Year is three weeks old and instead of the five pounds you wanted to lose, the five pounds you swore you would lose is suddenly three more than last week…  Those tight pants from “all that holiday food” are even tighter and the holidays are over… Huh… Imagine that. This isn’t like last year when you kept your promises to yourself… Or wait, is it exactly like last year because the same pattern repeated again… Excitement for the holidays, adrenaline and endorphins flowing, promises made, resolutions resoluted and then comes January 1 and that excitement turns into dread and that resolve dissolves… 

You know what you need? You need a buddy… A true friend is the one who will tell you the truth and not coddle you. We all need one of those until we can stand up on our own and kick our own lazy ass out into the cold even when we don’t feel like it… When you wake up at 5:00 AM and it’s time to get your shit together, get dressed, take a piss and get on the road for your run, do your HIIT workout or the workout that you told yourself you would do. Yeah, you do a HIIT workout; you “hit” the snooze button too many times because you don’t feel like it. Your friend would tell you, get your lazy ass up and get your fucking clothes on, it’s time to work out…”  You see, people don’t want to call themselves lazy, that’s negative. Our new culture has reworded every negative pronouncement so we don’t feel bad. Fuck that. Opportunity springs from negativity. Something as simple as I’m tired of the living room being this way and it motivates us to go to work making it into something we aren’t tired of. So when “it’s okay if you don’t want to come and workout” turns into, “get your lazy ass up and get your fucking clothes on, let’s go!” the opportunity for change happens. There is no opportunity for change when you don’t tell yourself the truth. If you are sick, then you’re sick and that’s not an excuse, that’s a reason. When “you don’t feel like it right now, get the fuck up, get to work. Even if your workout isn’t stellar, at the very least you can show up…”

It’s time for one of those analogies that you’re probably going to hate because it’s true…

Think about the day you made the appointment for the job interview for the job you currently have. You were ecstatic… You told everyone, “Hey, I got an interview!” You studied for that interview, brushed up on your skills, read some articles about “Top Ten Interview Questions and How to Answer Them” and you concentrated on the hardest ones like “Tell me about yourself…” LinkedIn helped you, maybe a book about job interview skills. The day before, you laid out your clothes, ironed them, made sure your shoes were okay. You went over your checklist, made sure that your breakfast was prepped and you laid down for bed  with some dread, some excitement and some hope. The day of the interview, you got up, showered, got ready, prepped your mind and went over your notes. You showed up on time, checked in, and tried to stay calm as you waited in the waiting area. Then, that moment came where the door opens, your name is called and down that hallway you go, being sharp, pleasant attitude, and most of all, you were paying attention to the details of the job at hand, that being impressing the interviewer and getting the job.

Fast forward a few months or a few years… You don’t lay your clothes out, you’re not dressed as sharp, and you’re late or at the very best, you show up on time but you’re not getting started because the routine you now have delays work as long as possible but your daily preparation looks like you are accomplishing something.

So what happened?

The same fucking thing that always happens… It’s called a “Quit Mindset” and we all suffer from it. You excitedly make resolutions that you don’t keep, you swear that change is happening, which it doesn’t…  The new job becomes the old job when you experience endorphin reuptake… You stop when the pain starts… Operational capacity increases when you feel stress. Possibility of a new job means you HAVE to step up. Getting the job is exciting and then, you start half-assing everything and the funny part is you fucking complain about the very thing you worked hard to get…  Your Quit Mindset made you stop trying… 

Half-assing… Let’s talk about that…. I personally think that the average person is operating at about 50% capacity most of the time. Think about it. We all have super productive days where we just kick ass… We slayed the list of shit we had to do, kept a good attitude and finished up smiling… Most of the time though, we get up, wander through the day, and at best, we masturbated and maybe managed to get the dishes out of the sink… Then, we tell ourselves that “I needed that day because I have been working so hard lately…” So you’re operating at about half capacity. If you are okay with that, power to you. No harm and no foul, but try to stay out of the way of others, you’re slowing us down… 

Now let’s take that example and apply it to other things… 

You made that resolution to get in shape. Laid out your workout clothes, made that protein shake and put it in the refrigerator and set the alarm. Day One, you’re up, out and running, back for a healthy breakfast and that shake tastes like a fucking victory. Day two, the soreness is a badge of honor and you are right there working through it and that shake tastes like future muscles. Day three, the excitement is wearing off and the shake tastes like what it is, a protein shake… By day five, you just walked through the workout and gagged that shit down and you’re glad for the weekend because you’ve been “working so hard and you plan on stretching out both days… You end up sleeping in, fucking around, blowing off stretching out with some lame ass excuses and by Monday, your plans are defenestrated because life is just too hectic to add working out into the mix right now. 

Wait a second? What is too hectic about this Monday that wasn’t too hectic about last Monday? You’re lazy and you know it but culture dictates that we must convert that negative word into something else or otherwise our feelings might get hurt. Lazy becomes “too busy” and you stay in your “Quit Mindset” and continue with your average life. Like I said before, if you’re fine with average, power to you but do you remember the name of that guy wrote that book about being average? Yeah, me neither, because he didn’t write it because no one wants to read it… So go down to the trophy shop and pick up one of these for yourself:

Listen, I know this is funny and I know it’s probably offensive to some people and I get it. I was the guy once who felt bad when I was challenged to face the truth of what I was. I know people need help and I understand that too… However, most of us need just one thing. When we throw in the towel, we need someone to throw the motherfucker back  at us and tell us we aren’t done, we’re not tired and we need to suck it up. Hard enough isn’t hard enough, we need to push past that 50% barrier we all have. 

So remove the overprotecting voice in your head. Some things have to be done in order for many of us to break out. We gotta be honest, first and foremost… Don’t be a self-deprecating douchebag either. Don’t make those self-criticizing jokes to make people around you comfortable in your misery. You know exactly what I’m talking about. So first you have to be honest, and then you need to make a plan. Not a fucking resolution. Those are just worn out lies and broken promises. Make a plan like when you go on vacation. You don’t get half way through a trip to the Grand Canyon and decide to quit. You don’t fade halfway through a trip to the Bahamas… You plan, you execute and you fucking finish what you started. So set a date, get the things you need and when the day comes, attack that motherfucker like your life depends on it, because in so many ways it does. 

Get to work…

Whew… I even offended myself with that one because I could do better than what  I’m doing. Sometimes my attitude about my 90 Day Life Change Challenge isn’t so good. So I need to adjust… 

Well, Day Ten and I got up, worked out, meditated and my writing is completed… Slept well and the day is just starting…

Have a good day, make a plan… Be the best version of yourself that you can…

Love ya, mean it…


No comments:

Post a Comment