“When the pandemic is over, I’m going to….” Let’s not call this an outright lie, we can tone it down to perjuring ourselves for the sake of not pissing anyone off this beautiful Saturday morning… Perjury has a nice, protective feel to it. So, ORDER IN THE COURT! We are going to talk about the promises we make ourselves when we really have no real intention of anything…
It’s not just “when the pandemic is over…” We can include New Year’s resolutions, which by the way according to experts, on average, 80% of fail by the second week of February. Also included are all the times humans have uttered, “I will start Monday, or first of the month, or as soon as I get organized, or as soon as shit calms down at work and on and on with promises to yourself that you have never have any intention of keeping… If you were dating yourself, you would never last as a couple… You’re a flake and although you mean well, dating yourself would just mean constant disappointment…
Why? Why can’t we make a plan to better ourselves and stay on track? Why is it that we say things like, I’m going to lose ten pounds... Then in the morning we wake up and by the time we get to work; we are eating the donuts on the desk promising ourselves this is the last one… Then afternoon comes and it’s Brenda from finance's birthday and there is a giant sheet cake and this is the last time we will indulge until after dinner when it’s time for some stupid television show where we unwind with some ice cream because, well, this is dessert and I didn’t do very well today so I will indulge this one last time… Imagine if you treated your outside relationships the way you treat the relationship to yourself? That’s three fails, and probably more if you’re honest, in one single day and it is never ending. The cycle of self realization, failure, self negotiation, failure, self negotiation, failure, etc… continues until you just lose faith in yourself. It's a good thing you can't leave yourself for that cute person in Human Resources who keeps eyeing you, or you probably would...
The three most popular New Year’s Resolutions are lose weight /get in shape, find love/eliminate loneliness and save money… Now, let’s say that you’re driving to the beach and along the way you start seeing warning signs. You know, “Construction Ahead” or “Detour” or even something as simple as “Left Lane Closed in 1000 Feet”…. Now unless you are complete idiot, you take heed and start adjusting your journey to fit the conditions so you don’t crash… That is the prudent thing to do. I wish more people would start getting over to not bottleneck the closed lane but I digress… I just see the sign that says “Left Lane Closed One Mile” and I move the fuck over and then watch the moron’s race ahead trying to beat the traffic jam that they are causing by not merging early… Ya know? Fuck… Anyway… If you pay attention the signs along the way, you get to the beach even when those around you slow you down because they aren’t heeding the warning signs… Simple… Don’t take the detour and end up stopped, crashed or even dead because you were warned and ignored it…
Now… Let’s take the trip to the beach analogy and make it a trip to losing weight… Yeah, a vacation from your indulgence… You make a plan, maybe find the diet that fits you, then make another plan to find the exercise plan that fits you and you get your gear and specify a date and on that date, you get started… All good… You are on your way to losing weight and feeling better…
Then the warning signs start… Gold’s Gym offered up this memorable list of warning signs that your health goals are at risk:
C – Can’t find the time.
L – Lacking a game plan to keep you going.
I – Ignoring your commitment and falling into old patterns.
F – Frustrated with lack of early results.
F – Forgetting why you started.
These are so blatantly obvious that it’s like one of those giant flashing signs along the highway that say “WARNING: ACCIDENT AHEAD SLOW DOWN”… You obey that, simply because not obeying it means that the sign will change two “2 ACCIDENTS AHEAD” if you don’t. Imagine if you saw that sign and acted like it wasn’t occurring… “Yeah, babe, there may be an accident but not for us…”
So let’s take a quick glance at this…
“C” stands for “Can’t find the time…” This is by far the easiest one to spot… If you say, “I am too busy today” then you haven’t committed... Simple as that. There is time, every day you waste precious time and call it “me time” or some other nonsensical excuse. Get up earlier. Not having the time isn’t a reason; it’s an excuse and a piss poor one at that. So if you see this sign along your weight loss/fitness journey, make the adjustment early in your trip or it will end almost before it began…
“L” stands for “Lacking a Game Plan to Keep you Going” Think about it… Would you go on a trip without at least a rudimentary game plan? Saying “I’m going to lose weight…” is not a game plan. Saying “I’m going to lose weight by picking a diet, giving myself freedom to adjust, letting myself fail but continue going and join BeachBody Online for the freedom it allows me to work out…” Now THAT’S a fucking game plan… So if you notice that you don’t have a plan for your newfound resolve, it’s a huge red flag waving in your face…
“I” stands for “Ignoring your commitment and falling into old patterns…” I do have a little bone to pick with the Gold’s Gym acronym at this point… Ignoring your commitment is the error but “falling” into old patterns of behavior? No… You don’t fall into old patterns of behavior any more than you choose to fuck around on your spouse or significant other. You “choose” and although that makes it harder to accept, it places the blame where it belongs, on the person making the choices… So if you are choosing to ignore your commitment to your plan and find yourself “whoopsing” into old patterns, just stop… Put your priorities where they belong…
“F” Stands for “Frustrated with a lack of early results…” Listen, if it took you years to gain that weight, you aren’t going to lose it in weeks, or even months… If you work out for two weeks and look in the mirror and don’t notice anything different and quit, you’re being childish… Children demand the impossible, rational adults understand that shifts in behavior patterns do not mean instant abs… Your body is suffering from years of poor diet, abuse, alcohol, drugs and whatever else you did or didn’t do for it… Shifts in metabolism take long periods of time. Not to get too technical here but here’s the thing: the human body is a machine. It doesn’t care how you want to look. It cares about surviving. Thus, it will optimize whatever it gets and it will reset itself to ensure its survival. If you are dieting, it will let you lose a certain amount without putting up too much of a fight, but at a certain point, it will start to optimize and run more efficiently based on its intake. That may mean a lowered basal metabolic rate and catabolism, i.e. a shedding of actual muscle mass, which can lower your metabolism. The hole you dug for yourself will take some time to climb out of and it will take much more effort to get out than getting into. In short, go by how you feel rather than how you look or what your scale says. If things aren’t changing fast enough for you, be honest and ask yourself if you are as committed as your actions are demonstrating? Want more? Work Harder… So if you start to falter because you aren’t getting fast enough results, then re-evaluate and go back to work…
“F” Stands for “Forgetting why you started…” Probably the most important part of any Personal Challenge Plan is the actual reason you are doing it… I have never forgotten stepping out of the shower into that full length mirror, nor will I ever forget it. That is my “why” and although my goals have changed with the inclusion of health, feeling good, sleeping better my original platform of absolute horror at the recognition of what I had become remains as the single most important reason for my transformation and continued work. So if your promise to yourself isn’t being kept, renew your vows by remembering why you started… Instead of failing, try these:
1. Ask if you need help. Not everyone can do it alone and there is no shame in asking someone how they do it… I guarantee you that when you ask a person how they achieved their goal, they will be more than helpful. they might even be a blogger or two out there who gives solid advice in a way you can accept it...
2. Start small and build on your success… Holistic health is multifaceted so you can choose a battle you can win. The human body needs roughly a half gallon of water per day to operate on an optimal level. That’s eight, 8 ounces spread throughout the day. Set your alarm for every so often to remind you to drink a cup… In the beginning you are going to hate water and spend a lot of time in the bathroom but just those two things right there should teach you that you are certainly not drinking enough… A few weeks and you will notice a world of difference and that victory will lead to another challenge that you can take on and win until each successive challenge will lead to a new you… Start small, win big…
3. Make it a part of your everyday routine… Like the alarm to drink, make sure your new resolution can be easily inserted into your schedule… It takes roughly 66 days to make a good habit… When you see small results, know that you are making headway into carving those new cerebral pathways…
4. Keep track of your progress… Data is god here… Modern culture has placed something into your hands that you can use for much more than a porn stream and there is an app for just about everything… Track your data and correlate that with how you feel…. More water? More better… More better? More resolve… Success feeds itself and if you think I’m bullshitting you, try it…
Stop promising yourself you are going to do something and get to work. Like any relationship, the more promises broken, the more distrust occurs… Not being able to trust someone else is really disappointing but losing faith in yourself is a fucking tragedy. Think about the damage you are doing when you say “On Monday…” and nothing happens. Sit down and make a list of all the things you want to change about yourself, and then find the small things that you can easily handle and make them happen. You won’t regret it…
The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update: Day 27 is a success… Up at the right time, exercised, new podcast… A few more small tasks and the rest of the day belongs to me… Every day of this challenge has been difficult but there is a level of accomplishment when I lie down at night that drives me to keep going because with this profound change in me after 27 days, I cannot fathom what is going to happen after 90... There is a running list of things "I always wanted to do..." and now they are being put into future 90 Day Life Change Challenges because I know that I can achieve it... It's an incredible feeling...
See you tomorrow…
Love ya, mean it…
Go succeed, you won’t be sorry.
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