Self-sabotage…
Why does it seem like every single time we have an important goal that would cause us some form of discomfort, we find a quick way to interfere with ourselves? Developing healthy habits like working out on a regular basis or changing our dietary habits, forming better work habits like getting assignments done on time, or life changes like developing our relationships or saving money are often shot down easily with veiled excuses we utilize to avoid the pain it causes to implement change in our lives.
You see, humans are hard wired to avoid pain, and while this has served us well in the evolution of species, now that we have reached a crescendo of cultural comfort, the very thing that helped make us strong is now destroying us. Funny how that works against us… The pain pleasure principle, developed by Sigmund Freud, suggests that people make choices to avoid or decrease pain or make choices that create or increase pleasure. The pain pleasure principle is the core of all the decisions we make. ... We seek pleasure to reward ourselves with immediate gratification. Now although this is just a theory, but it appears to ring true. Get up at 5:00 AM to run or sleep in? Get a hunger pang or eat the cookies? Smoke that cigarette or feel the pain of withdrawal? All signs point to Freud being correct… Cocaine addict and crazy mommy issues but quite correct in his assumptions about the human desire for pleasure… We don’t want to suffer under any circumstances…
Honestly, it hurts to quit smoking, quit drinking, start exercising, go to school and work simultaneously, eat less, drink less coffee… We are hard wired to seek out and enjoy excess, bad habits, drugs, alcohol and decadent food… Now how can we overcome this when it is nearly impossible to convince ourselves to go take a short walk after dinner? Why do some avoid it so much it causes their own demise?
First, let’s look at the word sabotage… When you search for the definition of the word you find a few variations. A quick dictionary lookup gives us: “to damage or destroy equipment, weapons, or buildings in order to prevent the success of an enemy or competitor.” The second definition is just as remarkable: “to intentionally prevent the success of a plan or action.”
The implication here is that sabotage is a large-scale, malevolent action that can subvert military initiatives, cripple cities or businesses, and destroy any hope for peace or sense of security. Taking out a power grid, shutting off water on a large scale, or stopping a supply route can sabotage a community or even topple a government…
So why would anyone carry out this level of destruction upon themselves? Unfortunately, that’s exactly what self-sabotage means. In both our personal and professional lives, we inevitably find ways to damage or destroy ourselves physically, mentally, or emotionally. At times and sometimes in strikingly effective ways we deliberately prevent our own success and overall well-being.
Why? Why in the world would we demonstrate behaviors that create problems in our life and interfere with our long-standing goals? Although the action may seem helpful at the moment, it ultimately undermines us. For instance, we make a goal to get in shape and suddenly, our house needs cleaned first, the laundry needs done first and as soon as you run those errands, we can exercise “without all that on our minds…” Question is, why didn’t our dirty house with the laundry piled up and a prescription that needed picked up for a week bother us while we were laying on the couch playing video games? The honest reason is that the couch wasn’t threatening our comfort like the exercise does…
You’ve probably heard a phrase like “getting out of your own way.” This is a less-serious expression of the concept of self-sabotage, but it still means that you’re hindering or undermining yourself, sometimes unconsciously and sometimes with purpose.
There are many reasons that we become our own worst enemies. The specific causes of our behaviors are likely unique to each individual but in the case of the average person, it is simply avoiding the pain. You have often heard the phrase “no pain, no gain” and while it has become the overused meme of the meathead it still has a small ring of truth to it. I’m not saying go kill yourself in the gym, or run until you ultimately hallucinate and then vomit… I am saying, put your fucking shoes on and take a walk after dinner, pick an exercise program you can stick with and eat a healthier diet. Yes, these things are painful but not quite as painful as having your chest cracked open to repair your blocked arteries…
Come on everyone, a little goes a long way… Let’s think this through together… Obviously, we don’t live in a perfect world. But if you're like most people on the planet who are unable to exercise for 150 minutes per week as recommended by the World Health Organization I have some good news for you… If you can manage 10 minutes a day of moderate to vigorous exercise it can vastly improve your health…
Want more good news? Meatless Mondays can vastly improve your health…
More?
How about summoning the courage to say one nice thing per day to your spouse or significant other? If you cannot manage that, how about one surprise hug a day? Takes less than a minute and if you play your cards right that comment or hug just might ignite something in their libido and luck could be your lady tonight…
Just one more…
Stop fucking around at work and apply yourself just a little more… You will find self satisfaction, less management on your ass, a possible raise or promotion, some job enjoyment and at the very least, time passes quickly when you are engaged in the task at hand… Hell, you might even find yourself struggling to finish your workload at the end of the day instead of dreading how much you have to do tomorrow to catch up and half assing everything…
Get my point here? It’s easy to self sabotage and surprisingly, easier to stop…
It’s the little things we do that cause the biggest changes…
Start right now… Try me…
Short blog, big message…
Love you, really mean it…
See you tomorrow…
The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… Killing it… However, a co-worker told me today that her nephew is doing a 365 day get up 4:00 AM daily exercise challenge and he is on day 79… So jelly… Damn kids… I will consider this just because it sounds impossible…
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