Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Day 80: Negative People Have No Idea That They Are Negative... So Be Gentle...

A few days ago, I wrote a blog about eliminating negative people from your life... What I failed to mention was the issues that are created by the negative personality and the futility of trying to dissuade them from their negative mindset... First of all, in almost all cases, the negative person has no idea how toxic they really are… The funniest part? They think that they are completely rational and in fact, the true realists… 

When a negative person complains, they believe that something is truly wrong and that are simply reciting facts. “This isn’t right.” “This isn’t good enough. It should be better.” Their complaining isn’t done to improve things, and it’s not that they are pleased about it, but simply unsatisfied. They’re just perpetually dissatisfied and make their discomfort with the world not being what they wish known to everyone around them. There isn’t a way to fix the problem they are discussing…. “It’s the public…” or “It’s generational…” This broad use of examples never has a solution, but it allows the person to continue to build their case that the world is the problem and not the way they view it.

The problem you will face here is that no matter what you say, there is no solution. This person cannot see that they are viewing the world as a place with infinite, unsolvable problems… If there is a solution it is always that the entire culture has to shift in order for the problem to be resolved… These universals are difficult to disprove and impossible to make any arguments against.

The negative person doesn’t believe that they are cynical. They don’t recognize that they talk down everything and everyone, but especially anyone who is trying to be positive or motivated to believe that the world can change for the better. It’s not just that don’t buy into an initiative for positive change, it’s that they try to point out all the things that prevent it from repair, as if progress towards better isn’t worth pursuing. They vocalize their skepticism to bring other people to their cause. Agreeing with them is the only way to pacify them, because any effort to offer a different side of the issue, immediately brings sarcasm, derision, and cynicism. 

Here is another aspect of the negative personality that you simply cannot do anything to dissuade them that the world really isn’t as bad a place as they want you to believe. You can point out the good and they will simply laugh at you and tell you that you are overly idealistic, simple minded and cannot see “the truth…”

Then there are those who believe they create value by playing the devil’s advocate and are really just negative people. They look to find reasons that something can’t be done, shouldn’t be done, or will only fail to achieve its intended outcome and any attempt to be helpful, offer a solution or even begin discussions to make things better are quite likely to make things worse. The negative person who plays this role sincerely believes they are serving an honorable purpose… 

This person is really hard to deal with, they not only have a shit attitude about life, but they also believe any attempt to make it better will only compound the issues… I think this is the person you need to avoid the most. Any discussions with them, devolve into unsolvable problems that will lead to certain disaster if any attempt is made to find a solution. The effort to resolve any complex issue will only lead to the apocalypse… However, they can be quite humorous if you let them talk long enough, the spiral that leads to the ultimate breakdown of society is fun to listen to if you don’t take them as seriously as they take themselves…

Negative people are pessimistic. They usually see the worst in everything and everyone. They have the attitude of the defeatist, those who believe they have already lost before they even start the game. They cannot win, the odds are against them winning no matter what they do. They’re all doom and gloom, even when there is evidence to the contrary. They believe things are getting worse, that everything is on fire, and because they are looking through the warped lenses of the negative mindset, there is not much, if anything positive to report.

They sincerely believe that you, the positive, optimistic, future-oriented, and empowered person is the irrational one. You cannot argue with this… Any offer of a positive, motivational speaker is met with disdain and even contempt. Motivational speakers are out of touch with reality, and any philosophy about positivity like The Law of Attraction is taken out of context, denounced harshly and anyone who even considers it, is an idiot… 

They are many types of negative personalities you may have to deal with, but one thing ties them all together, the sound belief that there is simply no hope and no reason to believe that there should be any reason to have any…

Just for the record, there is hope, because at one time in my life, this was me… I was never hateful about it, but I never thought that there was any use for positivity. So even though your friend, co-worker, or family member may not have any hope, you can hope for them. All it takes is one piece of information to shatter their belief in a despondent world… Maybe your example is what they need… I think the hardest part of my attitude change was admitting that I was wrong and letting people see me as a positive person. I identified with my negativity and even when I wanted to like something, I had trouble doing it if it didn’t fit into the dark colored lens of how I viewed the world… It is tough to alter your personality, but doing it was the best thing I could have ever done… The world is a pretty damned good place and being alive in it sure beats the fucking alternative…

My world view has changed and yes, when I distanced myself from my old mindset, the most wonderful thing happened... I found happiness pouring out of me... I'm not sure now what I believed when I felt like everything was wrong, it did me absolutely no good... Nothing good ever came from my negativity, but so many beautiful things are happening now... I'm not sorry I didn't find it sooner, I am profoundly grateful that I get to experience the intensity of feeling good, having hope and expecting good things to happen to me... For a person who used to say that "hope is a disease" I certainly do not believe that ever came out of my mouth... Emily Dickinson said it best... “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops at all.” 

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… With 11 days (including today) I think I experienced the first feelings of motivation to finish like a beast… ½ Murph went down smooth even though I kicked the coffee table last night and fucked up my little toe... New pull-up challenge started, P90X3 and meditation all felt good… Looking forward X Yoga tonight…

Have a great day people… Love you like Keith Richards loves drugs… 

See you tomorrow and we will start the process finishing this challenge together and planning the next one… I think I finish on a Saturday, So the following Monday looks like a great time to begin again… That’s an entire day of rest… Sounds about right…

Get to work…


Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Day 79: The Reason You Don't Have What You Want is You Don't Really Want It...

Get a piece of paper and a pencil of a pen... There won't be a test, but there will be action step...

We have discussed this before... Let's talk about it again... The time is running out on the daily blog that goes with the 90 Day Life Change Challenge and more importantly, the time is ticking away on your life...

 Time to take action... Don't you think?

Lets talk about the title of this blog for a second... Imagine you aren't reading this, imagine someone just blatantly said it to your face... Would you be angry? Let me state it again...

The reason you don't have what you want is you don't really want it...

That stings a little, especially if the person who said it to you is someone you respect... Someone you like... The funny part is that it would only sting if it were true... 

Now, let's dissect that...

What are your goals? Have you listed them? If you don't have a list of goals with a plan to get them then you don't really want them...

What time did you get up this morning? 

Snooze button? Slept in late? Running late all morning? Then you aren't interested in anything but sleep...

This is not rocket science folks... In order to do something as simple as cooking a meal, you need a plan... You need to decide what you want, check to see how it is prepared, check your cabinets and refrigerator to see what ingredients you have and the ingredients you need... Then you need to go to the store, buy the things to prepare the meal and then make the meal...

You cannot even make a single meal without a complex plan to make it happen... So what makes you think you can do something as complicated and time consuming as making a life change by sitting around, sorta, kinda thinking about it, not making a solid plan and never actually acting on it?

This last 90 days has changed me in ways you cannot imagine... I fucked off for twenty years carrying around a guitar and playing three or four chords and saying to myself, I want to play better but that's all I did, said it... I didn't practice, I didn't study, didn't learn anything new, played the same sad four strum patterns and generally didn't really want it... Thanks to massive effort, never missing a practice session and getting a mentor, tonight I sat down, went through the 14 chords I know, did some pick patterns and made up some shit because it made me happy... I stopped saying "I want to..." and started doing... Huge difference in a very short time...

Can I let you in on a little secret? It ain't gonna happen if you don't try... You cannot accidentally improve your life and if you do, its akin to winning the lottery... I would have never woken up one morning as a guitar player... It took focus and effort...

Now get your paper and pencil out... Take five minutes, right now and think about a single goal that you have and write it down... Might be something you have been kinda planning for a long time... Maybe it's a new goal... Whatever it is, put pen or pencil to paper and write it down...

I will wait...

Now that goal is out of your head and on paper... Now, it's real... Take a good, long look at it... Feel it... Read it again, believe it can happen... Put it up on your wall, dash or your vehicle or refrigerator... Might be a little harder to ignore now... Practically speaking, making a plan and writing it down brings it to life. It’s tangible, easily referenced, and provides a sense of accomplishment as you work through the plan. Get a notebook and write "PLAN" on the front of it... Carry it with you... Take notes, make updates, and visit your plan often. Then experience the pure joy that comes with placing a checkmark in an open box or crossing an item off the list that bring you closer to your end goal.

Please remember though, planning is an active and ongoing effort; it is not a one-and-done activity. Keep your plan in an easily accessible place and review it often. Be an active participant in achieving your goals by looking at your plan and making adjustments as needed. At the end of the year, you’ll be able to review everything that happened to make you successful. Where did you start and end, and how will this impact future planning? Ongoing review of your plan will help to ensure you capture all the important details. You may need to revise, adjust and rethink your plan at any stage of the process right up and including the last step!

Short blog because it is a powerful message to consider... Say you want to go back to school, that might look easy to some but for others you may as well announce you're going to the fucking moon... Remember though, in 1969, we did that too when everyone said it couldn't be done... 

Think it through... you really can reach any goal you want to reach... Define, write it down, organize, attack, adjust and keep going... 

You will make it...

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update... Finished the 5000 Squat / 1000 Push-up Challenge this morning and let me tell you, I'm so glad that is over... Taking on a Pull-up Challenge tomorrow morning because I am a glutton for punishment... I still haven't found the drive I am looking for to finish this but with 12 days to go, every day that goes by I am finding it easier... Almost done and I can definitely see the end of this one and the start of a new 90 Day Life Change Challenge... Never be done... Cross the finish line, catch your breath and start planning the next race... You can rest when you're dead... 

See you tomorrow... Count on it...

Love you like I love getting off early from work... Which I didn't do today, because meeting... Damn it...











Monday, March 29, 2021

Day 78: Stop Absorbing the Negative Emotions of Other People...

If you’ve ever had to spend some time with a negative person, you know how quickly you can start to take on that negative mentality. You may even be aware that the negativity is creeping into your mind and stopping it feels like an impossible task. Have you ever felt that you wish you had known how to protect yourself from negative energy?  If you are feeling overwhelmed from taking on the negative energy of others, there is a way to stop it from happening.

If you truly desire emotional freedom, that means learning how to stay centered in a stressful, highly emotionally charged world. Since emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are energies, you can potentially “catch” them from people without realizing it. If you tend to be an empath, or an "emotional sponge", it’s vital to know how to avoid taking on an individual’s negative emotions or the free-floating kind of "mob rules" mentality found in crowds.

Another twist is that chronic anxiety, depression, or stress can turn you into an emotional sponge by wearing down your defenses. Suddenly, you become hyper-attuned to others, especially those with similar pain and in addition to that, negative emotions can originate from several sources and besiege you and what you’re feeling may be your own as it may be someone else’s or it may be a combination.

Let's talk about how to tell the difference and strategically bolster positive emotions so you don’t shoulder negativity that doesn’t belong to you.

To detach from other people’s negative emotions and protect yourself:

1. Guard Your Time

Negative people can monopolize your time even when they're not with you if you’re not careful. It's easy to spend two hours dreading a one hour meeting with a negative person. Combine that with two hours of venting and fuming after that meeting, and you've just given that person five precious hours of your time.

Don’t allow negative people to steal your time and energy. Rather than complain about people you don't enjoy, choose to strike up conversations about pleasurable topics. Similarly, instead of spending your time thinking about how much you dislike that person, turn on your phone and listen to music that reduces your stress or listen to your favorite motivational speaker. Take back your power by limiting the amount of time you spend talking about, thinking about, and worrying about unpleasant people because fuck them, they aren't worth the pain they cause you.

2. Choose Your Attitude

Spending time with negative people can be the fastest way to ruin a good mood. Their pessimistic outlooks and gloomy attitude can decrease our motivation and change the way we feel in a matter of minutes and allowing a negative person to dictate your emotions gives them too much power in your life. Make a conscious effort to choose your attitude. Create a mantra, such as, “I’m going to stay positive today despite the people around me,” and repeat it often to help you stay on track. Take a deep breath and decide that you're going to make it a great day, despite what others say or do. Develop an attitude that is bullet proof to these people and their negative onslaught... 

3. Refocus and Reframe Your Thoughts

Negative people often influence what we think about. Say your negative person is at your place of employment... Perhaps you're so distracted by your colleague's know it all attitude that you can't contribute productively to your other co-workers. Or, rather than thinking about how to improve your performance, you spend more time thinking about how upset you'll be if that unpleasant co-worker gets under your skin any further. By the way, they are already under your skin far enough if you're thinking about them getting under your skin... 

Pay attention to how your thoughts change when you're faced with negative people. The more time you spend dreading, fretting, worrying, and rehashing, the less time you'll have to devote to more productive things. Make a conscious effort to reduce the amount of mental energy you expend on negative people. Throw them out of your head, it may sound complicated, but it really isn't... Admonish yourself for letting it bother you. Find out where the negative energy is in your body. Is it in your shoulders? Relax them purposefully... Are you clenching your jaw? Relax it purposefully... Breathe deeply, relax, tell yourself to think about other things... Do this until the feelings pass. 

4. Choose to Behave Positively

Negative people can bring out the worst in us if we're not careful. Sometimes certain pessimists seem to have the power to raise our blood pressure, for one reason or another.  A normally calm, mild-mannered person may resort to yelling when he can’t take one more second of negativity. Or, after being surrounded by negative co-workers for hours, an optimist may find herself feeling as much or even more negative than those around her.

Although it can be tempting to say, “She makes me so mad,” blaming others for your conduct gives them more power. When you act in a manner that isn’t consistent with your usual behavior, accept responsibility for it. Commit to controlling your emotional reactivity and staying true to your values, despite your circumstances. When you find yourself in a negative state of mind, explore it and reframe it as soon as possible.

5. Seek Out Positive People

It’s difficult to look on the bright side when you’re surrounded by negativity. Seek out positive people to keep you balanced. Just like negative people can rub off on you, a positive person can brighten your spirit. Identify the positive people in your life. Proactively schedule time with them on a regular basis. They really won't mind, after all, they're positive people... A quick lunch with a happy friend or a family gathering that’s guaranteed to be filled with laughter can help you stay on track. Find a friend who shares your desire to be positive and make them a text buddy... A quick text to a positive friend, family member or co-worker can change everything. Someone else in the world wants to share your positive attitude! Embrace that!

Decide that you're not going to allow negative people to determine how you think, feel, and behave. Take back your power and focus your time and energy on becoming your best self.  You will always have some negative asshole in your life somewhere, be it at work, the store or waving their angry fist (or middle finger) at you in traffic... Best thing to do when they pop up is put a sharp stick in their eye, but since you obviously cannot do that, I recommend that you ignore that you ignore them, turn up the music, smile and be proud of yourself for not joining them in their negative nonsense... Then text your accountability partner and demand they praise you, they will, because they understand...

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update... After traveling to Los Angeles, skating half the day, eating food I did not cook and getting home late, I FELT LIKE HELL THIS MORNING... Legs hurt, back hurt, groggy and really fucking tired... Started 15 minutes late, did the first few burpees like a 90 year old with a bad hip and would have rather sucked a bag of dicks than worked out for two hours..  A quick list of the thoughts generated by my brain include but are certainly not limited to:

1. No one would blame you for quitting, you feel absolutely terrible... 

        Answer: I have felt worse and worked out...

2. Your back hurts and it may be a serious injury, you should rest your back and do it later today...

        Answer: I stretched out my back before I worked out and that's why I started 15 minutes late...

3. You should rearrange your workout schedule, that will help...

        Answer: What? Shut the fuck up...

4. How about delaying SOME of the routine until tonight?

        Answer: How about you shit and fall back in it?

After I started doing those burpees, my negative brain fell silent and I listened to the music and did my workout, changed gears and did my squat challenge, then push-ups and then P90X3 Decelerator and then down shifted to meditation and all the racket in my head stayed silent... I was pretty proud of myself for doing that after waking up feeling like warmed over death... It truly helped my day be pretty damned good...

Have a good one... I will see you tomorrow, after a good nights sleep and that's for damned sure...

Love you all like a former Marine loves to use profanity... I can't believe I said "bag of dicks" in my blog but I am absolutely delighted that I did...








Sunday, March 28, 2021

Day 77: So I Got a Request to Blog About Intermittent Fasting...

Here ya go... A long ass, technical, citation filled rant about fasting... What else did you want to do on a lazy Sunday morning?


I practice fasting… 14 to 18 hours a day and every day… When my workouts exceed the norm, I will eat an apple in the morning after I workout and occasionally, the bowl of oatmeal but that’s rare. I have been a vegan since Summer of 2017 and on a totally clean diet since summer of 2019. I don’t eat meat, dairy, animal products, fast food, processed foods like bread, or any foods with chemical preservatives which leaves me pretty much with fresh food, canned organic and frozen… You might think I have a pretty bland diet but once you remove all the trash, food tastes really different when your taste buds heal up…   I digress.. I have been fasting for a while, I don’t really remember when I started or even why, I just found the concept of being in charge of my physical body to be fascinating and I gave it a try… I’m going to guess I started the fasting when the clean diet thing started.

Going down memory lane on this one. It has been probably the most powerfully life changing thing I have done… I fought my spare tire for years and I knew it was all in my diet because I exercised like a madman and my weight would always stop at 176 and my waist would stay at 32-33… I said I wanted abs one more time and then I drank every night, ate huge bowls of snacks late at night and huge meals 3 times a day… Like anyone addicted to their own routine, I justified it… I was too old for abs, I was working as hard as I could, etc… 

I began a quest for control of my appetite… I tried to stop snacking after dinner… Fail… Tried again… Fail… I found my weak spot… Now I don’t like weakness, it bugs the fuck out of me… If you have reading my blog, you know I despise personal weakness and failure…  I don’t fail, ever… Call it stubborn, call narcissism or whatever you want; my own weaknesses are targets for elimination. 

Then disaster struck… My left arm began to go numb, I couldn’t ride my bike anymore, I couldn’t turn my head and slowly, all movement caused me intense pain… The doctor said it was a degenerating disc in my neck and I was ordered to sit in a chair until he could schedule the surgery… That surgery would be in four to six months… I had to take pills that didn’t let me drink… It was a long six months…

I was scared…  Let me be honest here for a second… Raw… I am terrified of being overweight… I have been heavy in my life and it was not a pleasant experience. Having a stroke or a heart attack because of my own behavior is something I cannot accept. Being on medication for the rest of my life because I rejected the simple cure of eating right just does not sit well with me… I am not blaming anyone else for their behavior, I am simply saying that science is god in my life and science says I can cure my own problems a lot of the time with self control… 

I sat in that fucking chair for 6 months of my life and read self help books and watched shitty daytime television and in a gargantuan example of self control, I limited myself to three small meals of no more than 1500 total calories a day and I lost 20 pounds sitting there… That was light bulb in my life… I had always heard that it is diet AND exercise that made you lose weight… Apparently the proper combo is diet and reading because that’s all I did to lose the weight… For the first time since high school, I had a 30 inch waist and I weighed around 153 to 158 pounds…  

After my surgery, I healed up, went back to work, started exercising, drinking, over eating and night time snacking again… back up to 185 in no time… 

I said all that to say this… During my time in the chair I discovered that  I had zero self control when it came to eating…  Without some program, or the utilization of some strict system, I have zero control stopping myself from overeating, heavily snacking and using food as a reward for “being good”… You know how it works, three days of being good and a bowl of chips as a reward turns into the bag of chips and feeling sick and full of grease…  Two weeks without pizza and ordering one as “a Reward” turns into three weeks of pizza of pizza four times a week… I still fail sometimes with healthy snacks… A bowl of peanuts turns into half the package if I am not mindful… Now you know the truth of my rant against “cheat days” and “cheat meals”… There are not many people out there who can enjoy one meal or one day without turning it into total failure…  My strict diet has been developed over a period of years by implementing more and more control over how and what I eat… Vegetarian became vegan, which became whole food plant based vegan which slowly became the absolute clean diet… Somewhere during that transition, I found intermittent fasting…

Now… We are finally down to the point of this blog…

I could not stop eating after 8:00 PM to save my life… Before fasting my best time was three days before devolving into eating what Taco Bell made famous as “Fourth Meal”… Going to bed full, poorly sleeping and then waking up sick as hell became routine again… No matter how many times I swore that I would not repeat the process, I repeated the process… 

I came across the latest craze sweeping the healthy living community and as I said before, I was dubious… But when I began to do the research, I found more and more positive science related to intermittent fasting…  First, intermittent fasting is defined as s an eating pattern where you cycle between periods of eating and fasting. There are many different types of intermittent fasting, such as the 16/8 method with 16 hours of fasting with an 8 hour window for eating which I use… My fasts last from 8:00 PM until Noon the next day. So basically, I don’t eat after dinner until lunch the next day… This isn’t difficult because I never ate breakfast very often anyway. Truthfully, I usually stop eating at 6:00 PM after dinner and then have a handful of nuts or something small around 8:00 PM… This can be adjusted to any ratio from 18:6 to 12:12… The idea is to get control of your eating habits…. Some people fast for two full days and eat regular meals for five days… 

A couple of side notes… Intermittent fasting should be practiced with the habit of not overeating… Fasting for 16 hours and then stuffing three pizzas, a bucket of fried chicken and two liters of Dr. Pepper into your body in 8 hours isn’t going to help you… Two regular meals is the goal here…  Secondly, Don’t do this on my recommendation… Do this after a discussion with your doctor… Don’t be dumb and launch into something that is going to hurt you… Enough said…Now numerous studies show that it can have powerful benefits for your body and brain, but this one is rough to get started… I will discuss my personal journey after we talk about the numerous health benefits of intermittent fasting…

Here are some evidence-based health benefits of intermittent fasting. Citations included for those of you who are curious…

1. Insulin levels: Blood levels of insulin drop significantly, which facilitates fat burning (1)

2. Human growth hormone: The blood levels of growth hormone may increase as much as 5-fold (2, 3). Higher levels of this hormone facilitate fat burning and muscle gain, and have numerous other benefits. (4, 5).

3. Cellular repair: The body induces important cellular repair processes, such as removing waste material from cells (6).

4. Gene expression: There are beneficial changes in several genes and molecules related to longevity and protection against disease (7, 8).

5. Lose Weight: Intermittent Fasting Can Help You Lose Weight and Belly Fat (9). Generally speaking, intermittent fasting will make you eat fewer meals. Unless if you compensate by eating much more during the other meals, you will end up taking in fewer calories.

6. Increased metabolism: Lower insulin levels, higher growth hormone levels and increased amounts of norepinephrine (noradrenaline) all increase the breakdown of body fat and facilitate its use for energy. For this reason, short-term fasting actually increases your metabolic rate by 3.6-14%, helping you burn even more calories (10, 11).

According to the Mayo Clinic, research suggests that intermittent fasting may be more beneficial than other diets for reducing inflammation and improving conditions associated with inflammation, such as:

Alzheimer's disease

Arthritis

Asthma

Multiple sclerosis

Stroke

So when looking for a weight loss program that has these kinds of benefits, I chose intermittent fasting to control my appetite, lose weight, gain muscle and improve overall health…

Now for the downside…

This isn’t for everyone and if you have not seen a doctor or have the slightest bit of doubt about it, stay away from intermittent fasting… This type of program is tough… Side effects can include but are not limited to:

Hunger

Fatigue

Insomnia

Nausea

Headaches

These usually pass within a month… But again, see a doctor before you attempt this one… I hope I have warned you enough about this…

As many of you have read, I require structure to stay with any exercise, diet or self improvement program… If I am going to learn guitar, it has to be structured, timed and scheduled. Diet? Structured, planned and monitored… Exercise? Highly structured, data tracking and scheduled… This keeps me honest and on track… So when I found intermittent fasting, the discipline to keep the schedule was perfect for my personality. Don’t eat every day from 8:00 PM until Noon the next day worked for me… Now this 90 Day Life Change includes “Do Not Overeat” as a stipulation of the challenge to keep me honest…  In 76 days I have dropped eight pounds and went from 16% body fat to 13.5% and lost two inches around my waist and gained muscle mass like never before… 

Bottom line is this shit works if done correctly and maintained without “cheating” over a long period of time…

Lets finish up… My first month of intermittent fasting was fucking cruelty… I felt like from 10:00 AM to Noon that I was starving and I would prepare my meals and wait for the clock to turn to 12:00 and I remember salivating while I waited… Seriously fucked up shit folks…  Then I discovered that the first bite was almost like having an orgasm… I remember eating a handful of blueberries that were so tart and sweet that time just stopped and it was me and those blueberries and nothing else mattered in that moment… Olives, grapes, mango, etc… If you ever want to enjoy a bite of something, I highly recommend intermittent fasting and then savoring that first bite you put in your mouth…

Of course, after a couple of years, I don’t get hungry anymore, eating is back to mundane and even stopping coffee in the last month hasn’t affected my eating habits… I practice intermittent fasting now and eating between 6:00 and Noon the next day isn’t a issue anymore… My weight is good, my blood pressure is good, my arthritis only bothers me on cold, wet days and food doesn’t control me anymore… I still have the occasional slip once in a while and if my workout is exceptionally hard, I will eat a bowl of oatmeal and blueberries with maple syrup to make up the calorie deficit…

Yes, I know this part is something people don’t talk about but listen… In the two years since I went vegan and began fasting I have NEVER, and I mean not once had heartburn, indigestion, a stomach ache or diarrhea… I have zero digestion issues… That is unheard of in someone my age… I never eat Rolaids, or Tums or any of that shit… I haven’t been sick to my stomach, I haven’t thrown up… As unbelievable as all of this sound, I may have had two, maybe three small headaches in this last two years… When I combined a whole food, plant based diet with intermittent fasting; I became fucking bullet proof… 

Then some crazy shit happened… I got stronger… My workout times decreased as I got faster. I became more agile, had better balance and was able to work out harder and longer (giggity) because my stamina increased… Intermittent fasting made me a better athlete. This makes some sense as early humans went without food for days and they would need bursts of energy when hungry in order to get more food...  I still want to reiterate here that my diet is whole food, plant based and all the necessary protein, carbs, vitamins and minerals are tracked daily… If you don’t have time to monitor your intake and keep data until you find the correct diet to offset the intermittent fasting, do not do this… I religiously watched my intake of food, vitamins and water for months before I found the right combination… We are all different but I am quite positive of one thing… Not one fast food company has the right combination of food to keep you healthy… Just thought I would throw that in there… Stop eating that shit, its slowly killing you…

But back to my journey…  This took me a month to adjust to and it was not pleasant nor was it easy… I stuck with it because I had done the research and I knew the unpleasantness would pass… Eventually it did, and with the tweaks I have done in the last couple years, I have found what works for me… Intermittent fasting isn’t for everyone… 

Sorry for the technical aspect of this blog but I thought that it was important to offer the science as well as the personal experience… 

Find your way, see a doctor first… I of course, didn’t do that but as a blogger, I must insist that you do so you don’t die and then I get sued and feel bad and all that… I don’t like feeling bad, cause feeling bad makes me feel bad…

Have a great day, I’m in Los Angeles today buying a new long board in Venice…  I’m done doing trick but I still like that long downhill, slow cruising… 

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… Sunday is rest day for 1/2 Murph... So all I had this morning was squat/push-up challenge, plank and Yoga X... Easy day... 

See you tomorrow…

Love you like Pete Rose liked throwing a baseball game…

And oh yeah…

Get off your ass and get to work, I know it’s Sunday, but you rested enough yesterday…


Saturday, March 27, 2021

Day 76: Leaving the Cult of "I Can't" and Learning to Have Faith in Yourself...

Inevitably, the subject of self improvement comes up in the conversations of my life… That’s what happens when you devote your time to something, it becomes noticeable…  If you are pursuing a master’s degree, without a doubt it will come up in many, if not most of your conversations with others… Football fanatics talk about football and junkies talk about heroin because people connect with others on the level we are on or striving to attain…

When the conversations arise about self improvement, people find out that my workouts, diet and lifestyle are pretty extreme and I hear the same thing with the same dismissive tone, from almost everyone… “OH, I COULD NEVER DO THAT…” By dismissive, I don’t mean they are dismissing me, they are dismissing themselves… Eliminating the possibilities of what they could do even before they started…

Did you hear that? People dismiss their own abilities BEFORE they even know what their abilities are… I want to repeat that over and over again until everyone reading this or hearing me speak really understands what they are doing…

It looks this:

Them: So how often do you workout?

Me: Oh every day… Two hours a day…

Them: Oh… I could NEVER do that... I don’t have the time… When do you workout…

Me: I get up at 4:55 every morning…

Them: Oh I could NEVER do that…

Now I could go on… If the conversations continue, we talk about fasting… They could NEVER do that… Meditation… They could NEVER do that… Vegan… They could NEVER do that… Clean diet… They could NEVER do that…

I explain that it took me years, I started slow, that I worked my up… I do this because I want to empower people, not intimidate them, but I have this question in the back of my mind whenever this topic arises…

You tell me repeatedly with great detail about what you cannot do, your reasons and your lack of ability… So tell me… What the fuck can you do and why aren’t you doing it?

Yeah… Good question right? I am absolutely certain that it is indubitable that you cannot get up early and workout, fast and eat a clean diet right now… Unless you have been doing it for a while and worked your way up to it, it would put you in the hospital… I don’t doubt that you are unable to… My question still remains…

What can you do and why aren’t you doing that? You tell me you want to get into a good fitness routine and yet, you don’t try, or if you do, it is only temporary until it hurts and you immediately quit… Your diet lasts until your sweet tooth overpowers you, you fail once and give up… You want to try fasting but hungry hurts… Drinking enough water makes you feel bloated but you will eat until you are sick and that is perfectly justifiable and you will loosen your belt, make a funny comment and your goals slip further and further away…

I could go on but you don’t need me to… You know what you say you want and then you see your own behaviors…

Take a look at it this way…

If your holistic health was school you say you want an A+ body and mind, your report card would look like this:

-          Sleep                              D –

-          Nutrition                         F

-          Training                          C

-          Hydration                       C

-          Stress  Management       B

Look, I hate to break it to you, but if you want an A+ body and mind, you need better grades folks… Now, what can give us better grades? Hard ass work…

Let me point his out before we go on…

Saying you want to be in shape, but you seriously want to avoid any and all discomfort is, for lack of a better word, dumb as fuck… It’s impossible to be holistically healthy without pain… I won’t even argue with you about that because you can come up with all the excuses and reason you want, but pain is the only way to excel… Before you dismiss me, think about this…

This shit hurts… All of it… Exercise hurts, fasting hurts, studying late hours hurts, clean diets hurts…  Sobriety hurts… Some pain is physical and some pain is mental, but either or, is still pain… Embrace the idea that your journey to health will hurt and accept when you do feel the pain of sore muscles, exertion, long hours of reading, experiencing withdrawal, eating right when you want a pizza, drinking water when you want alcohol… Understand that pain is a marker to excellence… You really think that professional athletes don’t hurt when they train?  Not only should accept that you will feel pain, you should fucking thrive on it… Revel in it; love it when the sweat drips off of your chin… You should be proud of yourself for reading a book in one day, getting through your study hours, meeting the goals of the day when you want to stop and watch television…  To quote my oldest son, “pain is how we learn, pain is what teaches us that pain isn’t all that bad, it just “kinda “ hurts but we understand what it means to be resilient and that the majority of our limits are self imposed…”

So if you can get the understanding that your limits are self imposed, then I will ask the question again… What the fuck can you do and why aren’t you doing it?

If I say I can do 100 Burpees, don’t say, “I could NEVER do that…” say “ I can do 10… I can do 5… If you can’t do a pushup, get on your knees and try to do them… If you can’t, find some way that you can and work your way up…

Now I am going to admit… When I started, I could do 3 Burpees, 20 pushups, zero pull-ups and had to steady myself on the back of the couch to do 10 squats and the next day I couldn’t sit down on the toilet without crawling myself down the wall… My first workout was a fucking disaster…  I learned how to cheat all of them to get my numbers up and as I got stronger, I refined the movements until I was doing them properly… I set goals that looked ridiculous to me…  I wanted to do 50 Burpees, 50 pushups, 5 pull-ups, and 50 squats… A year later I met those goals and now those numbers look puny to the workouts I do every day… My point is I’m not Superman… I’m a human who was once lazy, fat and had zero confidence…  It took me a year to meet those first numbers and all that did was excite me and enlighten me to that fact that my “impossible” goals were indeed, quite achievable…  I live in a world now, where there are infinite possibilities… I entertain goals that look ridiculous to others... Not just fitness goals, not just health goals, but things that would take gargantuan efforts to attain, and feel like all I lack is a plan…

So again, what the fuck can you do, and why aren’t you doing it? It will take effort, pain and time but you can do what anyone else can do… There are only the limits that you set; the world is wide open and waiting for you…

Get off your ass and get to work…

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… Slept in until 0530 this morning… Then I kinda hung out in my room in the quiet and enjoyed doing nothing for an hour and a half… I had three workouts to do but there was music and reading I wanted to do first… I broke my ½ Murph record this morning by a minute and 3 seconds and when it was over, I laid in the floor gasping and cried a little bit, but please keep that between us… I was a little overwhelmed, exhausted and burned up all the oxygen in my blood… Like I said, excelling hurts...  sometimes so bad, you will cry… After I recovered, I did my squat challenge… Today was 270 squats and 54 pushups… Then P90X3 Eccentric Lower and then P90X3 Yoga… Finished that and went down for meditation and got up at 1020… Chilled out, wrote this blog and ate lunch… It has been a great morning and tomorrow is a kinda rest day and a trip to Los Angeles to get a longboard in Venice Beach at my favorite skate shop… I hope it’s still there…

Well… I will see you tomorrow… We are looking at a little over two weeks to go…

Love you like an English teacher loves correcting grammar…

Friday, March 26, 2021

Day 75... A Milestone, A Malcontent Mindset and Some Advice About Your Balls Gentlemen...

Going to try and kind of free write this... Just to see what happens... Blog was named after writing...

 8:00 PM

Day 75... Fuck yes... Two and a half months ago standing in the shower, I clearly remember making the decision to do this and my first thought was absolute dread... No alcohol, no drugs, no bad food, daily tasks of writing and guitar and a shit load of exercise that would absolutely kill a normal person...

Normal... Right...

Okay, I'm not normal, I know that.. I'm a happy malcontent... Now, because I study philosophy, I can change the definition of words at will... It's called "philosophical license" and it allows me to make up new words and define them or I can take established words and redefine them... Actually, you don't have to study philosophy to do it, it's available to anyone... I just like to say that I study philosophy, it makes me sound very mysterious...

So when I say that I am a happy malcontent, I don't mean that I am grouchy, I mean that although I am happy, I am not content with my life in any way, shape or form. I'm always searching for the next challenge, the next book, the next piece or art, the next musical instrument to learn,.. My bucket list looks like a grocery list for a family of ten... There is so much shit on there I will never be able to complete it... Then again, every time I take something off, I add two more so at this rate I will die with a long ass list in my pocket... It has doable shit like "Learn Italian" and several of those probably not items like "orbit the earth and be weightless" but with Elon Musk in charge of commercial space travel, you never know...

I would like to take a second here and reiterate... I am happy... I like my life because I feel like I am finally in charge of it and the things I am not in charge of, I am allowing myself to ask questions, demand things and figure them out... I heard a great quote today that said, If you can't change something, don't worry about and if you can change something, don't worry about it..." How fucking beautiful is that? So I am happy... Yes, of course there are things I am dissatisfied with, but fuck it, I'm working on it... 

But am I content? Oh hell no... Content is satisfied... I am far from satisfied... Fuck that noise... I want to learn Italian, Spanish and maybe some Portuguese... I want to climb Mt. Whitney... Be weightless... I have a list of shit that needs done and if I was satisfied, they wouldn't get done... So happy and content and two different animals... I chase challenges like I used to chase women... Relentlessly... 

No, I am not a stalker, let's make that clear right now...

But listen dudes, This next part of the flow of subconsciousness is for you... Ladies, turn your heads unless you need the info to hand it to someone you know who needs it...

Guys... Let's talk for a second... 

For all you dudes out there crying into your In-n-Out bags, and whining about the lack of sexual contact you're experiencing while surfing the internet I have some real advice for you... Get some new underwear, cut your toenails and for god's sake, trim your shit fellas... Because damn...

It works like this... You walk like you haven't trimmed your shit and your potential suitors can sense it... It's called self confidence... When you trim your shit, you walk like trimmed your shit... So listen, stop whining about how you can't find a date and go into the bathroom, sand the callouses off of your feet, trim your toenails, cut down the genital forest and do some fucking maintenance man, seriously... 

You live in a world where you don't have the confidence you need because you don't take care of yourself... I'm not saying you need to be the quintessential 90's metrosexual but I don't know many people who are attracted to guys with nasty feet and dirty fingernails... So then you get caught in a cycle of "I can't get a date" which leads to you not taking care of yourself, which leads to no one being attracted to you... 

Just to be clear, "I can't get a date" is a direct translation of "I can't get laid..." Let's not quibble here...

8:44 PM  Back to the top for a reread and misspelled word corrections... 

6 minutes later...

Are we clear fellas? Women (Or men, if you swing that way...) don't mind the dad bod, they don't care if you have abs because not a lot of people have abs... They don't care about how intellectual you are or if you're good with memes... What they do want is someone genuine, funny and most of all, someone who has some honest confidence in themselves... How do you get that confidence? Go on Amazon, order new underwear and socks, throw out your old ones, take care of the maintenance I mentioned earlier, especially the 70's bush guys, seriously... Your potential lover might get by the holes in your socks, but you ain't getting anything with stained underwear and a lawn that hasn't been mowed all summer... 

8:59 PM

That was fucking fun... That was a free write from hell right there... I hope you enjoyed it...I certainly did...

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update... Wow... Today was amazing in the exercise realm... I woke up feeling refreshed, got started a little late and finished up early... My three workouts passed by enjoyably and I was laughing during PilatesX... I am heading into the homestretch and getting ready to start a sprint towards the finish line...

Take care and have a great day... I will see you tomorrow when I will be down to 16 days to go... Damn... That's fucking awesome...

Love you like OJ Simpson loved when that glove didn't fit... We all fucking know he killed those people...

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Day 74... Stop Thinking About It, Stop Reading About It and Just Do It...

We learn far more by doing than by thinking about things or reading about how to do things....

That’s a simplified declaration, of course, because reading teaches us quite a lot, and thinking about how to attack a project is necessary but it’s in the actual doing of things that we do our real learning. It may be a fairly harmless statement for most of us, but think about this: 

Are you actually putting things into practice? How about in your efforts to improve your life?

It’s easy to see how this applies in a fitness or health improvement situation: You can read all the blogs, books and blurbs you want about a fitness program… Google the fuck out of diets, and watch a zillion videos on healthy cooking… Hell, you can even spend money and join a gym, buy some home fitness equipment and a couple of yoga mats but until you put these ideas into practice, the only thing that will happen is you will increase your knowledge about the concepts and reduce your bank account…. It is much more effective to put on the workout clothes you bought and utilize the gear you purchased and actually prepare and consume the meals you were reading about…

When you want to improve your life in some way, say by simplifying utilizing minimalism, by being more frugal, by starting to exercise or eat healthy, by learning more productive habits, by being a more positive or compassionate person, your desire is to learn a new skill and when you learn a new skill, all the reading in the world won’t teach you the skill. You have to learn by doing.

So reading countless self-help articles and books are great, I’ve written one about meditation (Ask me how to get it for free...) myself, but you have to remember that it’s only the first step. This blog has been full of ideas on how to change your life, acquire motivation, develop discipline and change your life for the better, but it’s just a blog with ideas, you have to be the one to take them, make them yours and implement them.

You have to put the personal development into action, step away from the computer or book you are reading, and start doing it. Do it today, do it now….

Only in doing it will you actually learn the skills you need to develop that new habit you desire… Only by doing will that book you want to write materialize… Only by doing will you lose weight, get in shape and feel better… You get the idea….It is up to you to act on your desires…

Reading does help though: first in helping you to understand what to do, and second in keeping you motivated as you actually do the skill. Thinking about the how, the plan and the moving forward is great, this gives you a pathway to start, but you have to start… Reading and thinking are not a substitute for doing.

So stop reading this post, and go do it… Even if it is only for ten minutes, go do it… Go be a creator… Make it happen…

Get to work fuckers… The sand is running out the bottom of the hourglass and I don’t want your last thought to be some stupid shit like, “oh fuck why didn’t I do that?” Is maybe binge watching Game of Thrones is what you really want? Well, I guess you can die thinking about that I suppose… I would make some snarky comment about Game of Thrones but I don’t have a clue about it, never watched it…

Well, I guess I will see you tomorrow and I would like to wake up to a comment about how one of you tried something new, or began to do something you have been thinking about, or better yet, you created something… Have a beautiful day… Make it a day you intend to have… 

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… Day three of "I would rather have diarrheas on a long drive between bathrooms...." type of morning. Running on pure discipline to get started and then my mind cleared and I was able to focus and power through it. It was a difficult week with P90X3 and I am sore as hell, stiff and pretty tired of being tired... However, with something like 17 days to go, this is expected... Isn't it so perfectly human to be so close to the finish line and want to lie down and quit? If psychology holds true, I should be starting that rise in energy and desire to reach the finish line any day now... Don't get me wrong though, I am very excited to have made it this far and the changes in my mind, body and emotional state has been profound... The changes that I have made in 90 days have shocked me... We will talk more about it as we get closer to the finish of this challenge... I am starting to plan the next 90 day challenge already... There are no breaks when it comes to self improvement... 

Listen, a couple things before I end today, I know I that I come off as an asshole sometimes but think about this… What if everyone took some time out of their lives every day to do something that made the world a little better place? Dropped some sage wisdom on someone, wrote a kind letter to a person who needed it, or maybe just smiled at a stranger… What if every potential artist, writer, poet and musician birthed themselves into existence? Think about all the art, books, blogs, poems, and music is out there but the potential isn’t being realized because of stupid shit like a television show… They tell me the graveyard is full of lost potential… Don’t waste it if you are one of the people holding back…

Again… Get to work…

Love you all like Michael Jordan loved flying through the air with his tongue out…


Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Day 73... How Do You Help a Blogger Out? Let me Count the Ways...

If you are familiar with bloggers, lots of us blog for money... When you visit our little blog corner, you may find ads, pop-ups, drop downs and usually get assaulted with monetary requests or advertisements with click throughs, etc... As you can see, this is not my interest at all... I don't have any ads, pop-ups or requests for you to buy anything... I don't ask for your email address and then send you a thousand spam messages... I am simply here for one thing and that would be to express my journey in writing so that maybe it will help others... 

So how do you help out? Here are some easy, free and helpful ways to help out any blogger, myself included... 

  • Join the conversation. I love all the input and feedback and different perspectives in the comments. Many times, maybe all the time, the comments are more valuable to me than the posts themselves... I love when people give back their thoughts... If you like a blog, get involved if you are moved to do so, don’t just read and move on.
  • Spread the word. If you really like I Can Breathe Again , or any other blog, email your mom, your co-workers, your cousin you haven’t heard from in years, your college roommate who really needs this advice. Word of mouth is the best advertising, especially from those who really like a blog.
  • Link love. If you’re a blogger, and you like one of my posts, link to it! That’s always appreciated greatly. I post these on Facebook also so if you see it there and you liked it, share it... Spread the word around, let's make me famous... 
  • Subscribe. I’d love it if you’d subscribe to my feed so you don’t miss any of my posts. If you do subscribe, try to do it with an email that you check, cause otherwise, yeah...

Other than that, I don't sell anything, I don't get paid for anything affiliated with this blog and I certainly don't want to monetize it because I think that would somehow cheapen it... In 28 days, I will limit myself to blogging a few times a week because I am going to start writing a book that will be based on this last 90 days of blogging... I have a Life Change Challenge book, a screenplay and a recipe book for whole food, plant based vegans that I will be writing in my next 90 Day Challenge but I will still be here a few times  a week so  subscribe so you don't miss what's going on...

Finally, I’d just like to say that I’m extremely grateful to all of you. You’ve made my dream of daily writing possible, and I’m thankful every day for that. Your participation in I Can Breathe Again..., your feedback that helps me improve, and the daily love and support I get... It’s all been wonderful. Thank you, all of you.

So subscribe... Now... Damn it...

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge Update... Another day of I would rather be stabbed in the ass a few times with a shank made out of a sharpened toothbrush than workout... Another mind fuck and I had the realization this morning that I am in a slump... Now getting started on the 90 Day Life Change Challenge was hard, staying motivated until discipline kicked in was hard but this... This shit sucks assholes... Working my way through this has been the most difficult part of the journey so far... I suspect that this is the tipping point between where discipline becomes habit and let me tell you, forming a habit is the hardest thing I have done in a while... I'm very proud of myself this last two days because working through this swamp of despair and laziness could only mean one thing... I am the toughest man I know... I suspect that everyone has this in them, you just have to find it, resolve to develop it and then go to work because today, right now, winning this fight means everything and I damn well mean to get through it...

Get to work...

See you all tomorrow... Just like always... Love you all more than Lance Armstrong loved steroids... 

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Day 72: An Introduction to Discovering Peace and Happiness

For many years, I lamented the fact that I could not find peace...  I realized that the degrees I earned and the jobs I chose made me miserable. Everything I tried, including my jobs and relationships would all fall into chaos because my search for peace within those systems failed over and over again... Like everyone, I heard that age old, worn out adage about "happiness comes from within..." and I wanted to kill the people who repeated it to me... Until, that day... You know, that day that I talk about quite a lot... Until the day that epiphany came out of nowhere and suddenly "happiness comes from within" had meaning... Real meaning... the kind of meaning that changes your life so drastically and so profoundly that you mentally stumble from the power of it...

This came around after a lifetime of searching for that elusive thing called peace... I thought happiness followed peace kinda like a one, two punch... Get peace and then find happiness... A lifetime of searching led me on what looked like a wild goose chase but all through that journey, I was learning... Epiphany comes from several pieces of information suddenly complimenting one another into a broader understanding of the inquiry... Now you may not even know you are gathering the information, but deep inside your psyche, there is a mechanism of thought that continuously tries to make sense of the world around you. Constantly gathering bits of information and trying to piece them together into a coherent construct so that we can garner some meaning from the circus we call our lives... 

Now while I cannot convey my personal epiphany about personal happiness to you, I can give you some information that led me to mine... That would be the best I can do... Again, epiphanies are based on the experiences and information gathered from your personal journey... Your life, your puzzle but we all have similar questions, so allow me to make a few suggestions and see if it helps... 

You will need to make some inner changes and remove negative influences from your life... 

1.  Spend your energy on things within your control

Let go of things you can’t control – like the weather, the bus being late, the behavior of others, traffic and long queues, the café running out of your favorite salad roll, or coming down with a cold. When you are late for something and you're in a long line, or behind a slow car and you feel that angst begin to rise up, close your eyes and repeat my mantra...

Fuck it...

When these things occur, let them gently wash over you like water off a duck’s back. Don’t let them disturb the sense of inner peace and contentment residing deep within your heart. Just say "Fuck it" and something magical will happen. All of a sudden you will have a wealth of free energy to spend on things you can control. Things like your dominant thoughts, your attitude, your behavior, your values, and how you live your life... Things like your daily lifestyle, exercise, food, career, passions, self-education, friends, fun and leisure time.

This is where your true power lies. Spend your time here, and watch how it transforms your life.

2. Adopt an optimistic worldview

We are taught to focus on problems, on fear, on protecting ourselves from all the things that could go wrong. 

The world is a reflection of our dominant thoughts, so with this overly pessimistic outlook, problems and misfortunes are exactly what we find. We’re not able to see all the beauty, blessings, kindness, love, abundance and opportunity surrounding us in every moment simply because we’re not looking for it. We’ve trapped ourselves in a self-fulfilling prophecy with our negative stories about the world that we adopt from the news, world events, p[politics, Facebook, Twitter, the television and even our conversations with others... It seems so easy to fall into the negative discussions... Have you ever stopped to consider talking about the good things in your life might change your view of the world? We have all spent time thinking about something (a green car, a black pug, an engagement ring) and then all of a sudden you spot them everywhere? It’s the same with your life. Spend time focusing on the positive, and then all of a sudden you will see positive outcomes, serendipity and good fortune everywhere.

Adopt an optimistic worldview. Wake up and anticipate an amazing day. Feel excited about the infinite possibilities for your life. Notice all the love and gifts around you just waiting to be seen.

3. Forgive, forgive, forgive

The Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Learn to forgive other people when you perceive they have ‘wronged’ you. Have compassion for their situation they are fighting their own battle, they are doing their best. When you can see that others may not know any better, the situation changes. You don't have to continue the abuse, you can get the hell away from them but if you get away from them and still fight the battle of hate and blame in your mind, you haven't escaped anything...

This is one of the hardest habits to adopt in life, but it is also one of the most freeing. Don’t forget to extend your new forgiveness practice to yourself, either. You, as much as anyone, deserve your compassion and love.

4. Remember your higher purpose

Spend time doing the deep soul work to determine your values, your dream life vision, and your higher purpose and then use these to guide you in your daily life. It’s so easy to get trapped by inertia and fear, to procrastinate, and to make poor choices when we’re so ‘busy’ with life that we’ve forgotten what we love, what lights us up, and what we’re here for. Live the life you choose and not the one you settle for... Maybe your higher purpose in life is to learn to love yourself, to help others, to laugh, love, and for you to write, and motivate others...

Keep reminders of your perceived purpose nearby, and it makes decision making easy. Post you motivation on your bathroom mirror so it is the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night...You just need to weigh whether the action you’re about to take (or not take) will bring you closer to your higher purpose.

5. Be your own guide

It really does not fucking matter what other people think... Now you don't have to be hateful about that statement, not at all... But worrying about how other people view you and your life choices is like handing over control of your heart to someone else and going, ‘There you go. Please decide how happy and worthwhile I feel today’. The more you let your own intuition, inner voice, values and desires be your guide, the faster you can start living a genuine life. Consequently, mind-reading abilities are non-existent, you can’t know what others are truly thinking anyway. So when your ego starts to fill you with doubt, that people are thinking badly of you, it may be a load of bullshit... 

Finally, don’t forget this: You're okay... Simple as that... You're okay... Just keep remembering to say "fuck it" and everything will be fine...

Now get to work, so much to do and so little time... 

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update: It was a great morning... The "don't want to blues" were gone and I just launched right into my triple workout without hesitation... today will be productive and pretty good if it keeps on this track... I cannot believe I am down under 30 days to go... I have done so many 30 day challenges, this seems like I'm cheating... Even if the day hands you a bag of shit, have a great day anyway, you deserve to...

See you all tomorrow and I hope that when I do, you have a genuine smile on your face because you discovered you kinda like yourself and you don't give a rat fuck what anyone else thinks...

Love you all like I love me, and that is a helluva lot... 

Monday, March 22, 2021

Day 71... When You Just Don't Feel Like It Anymore...

Including today, I have twenty days left in The 90 Day Life Change Challenge... I have worked out, eaten right, abstained from intoxicants, played my guitar, fasted daily and done all the things I said I would do for 70 straight days and excuse my crudeness, this morning I would have rather licked a bag full of assholes than worked out... I woke up when I was suppose to, snoozed for 9 minutes, sat up and regarded the next 2 hours of my life like I would view getting a vasectomy without anesthesia... I simply did not want to... I wasn't tired, I wasn't all that sore... I counted down from ten and I stood up... My legs weren't weak, my back didn't hurt but I had zero drive and zero motivation to work out... Nobody wants to do a 1/2 Murph, P90X3 Decelerator, A Plank Challenge, 220 squats and 44 pushups at 5:00 AM in the early ass morning... I glanced outside and it was pitch dark... More reason to hate my existence... I got dressed, bathroom, some water, turned on the music, set the timer to zero, and then... I stood there.. I calculated how many minutes I could just stand there... Everything ready and all I had to do was start that timer... I stood there recalculating the time... Then, without letting myself think...

I started the timer...

Let's talk about this a little... 

A number of times I’ve discussed how important it is to develop passion for the exercise you engage in. It’s passion and enjoying the act that gets you to be and stay active for hours each week, week after week, month after month, year after year... But sometimes, passion is lacking. Sometimes, you just really don’t fucking want to...  I’m writing this blog now because it happened to me this morning. I like morning exercise for a lot of reasons. I like the solitude. I like being slim and healthy. I like the feeling of exertion and accomplishment I get from it and I like to sweat. In fact, not just sweat, but I like the sweat dripping off my nose and being drenched from the physical exertion...

But this morning, the thought of doing burpees made me want to murder kittens...

I have daily guitar, writing, reading and lots of things I could have done instead and put off my workout until this afternoon...I wanted to do any of those things rather than workout. I’m in the middle of a really good book and for a moment I thought about ditching the workout and reading instead. I came close. Closer than I have ever over this expanse of seventy days... I was making excuses. I exercise a lot already. Postponing this morning shouldn’t make much difference. Skipping anything on purpose sends me back to day one and I imagine that would not be pleasant to be staring at three months in front of me again... I'm already looking forward to the next ninety days too much to sacrifice it to my temporary lethargy...  

Then the rational side of my brain kicked in. When you let the excuses take over once, they can do it again and again. Then one day instead of regular exercise it’s regular visits to Taco Bell and eventually regular trips to the cardiologist. I don’t want to be that guy.... 

So rather than make some snap-decision and say, “fuck it” and delay my workout, I actually took a moment to think about things objectively. I analyzed all my feelings about it and came up with the following facts:

  • I wasn’t tired or over-trained; I just didn’t feel like working out...
  • I knew that if I didn’t workout, I’d feel guilty afterwards...
  • I knew that once I started working, it wouldn’t feel so bad...
  • I knew that if I did actually motivate myself to do it when I didn’t want to, I’d feel extra good afterwards for sucking it up and persevering...
  • I knew that I would regret my decision all day long and dread having to come home and end up doing a half assed workout...
  • I have worked out feeling much, much worse...
  • Finally, I count on myself to do this every day, no matter what the cost, no matter if I am injured, no matter how I feel...

Still, I really didn’t want to. Despite all the facts I’d come up with, my emotions were ruling and I was about to talk myself out of doing it. Then one quick idea popped into my head and I acted on it just start the clock... Click the "Start" button and get to work...

What I mean is, if I started the clock, then I’d pretty much have to workout…wouldn’t I? Of course I would, because that clock has to be beaten every single day, because it is the goal that I set for myself... And guess what? It worked. I did it. And you know what? It was a good workout, and I felt great about myself for persevering afterwards. It felt good to suck it up. This was a huge victory for me feeling like a workout warrior, and it will serve as a reminder the next time I really don’t want to... Today was an example of positive reinforcement at its most basic.

The lesson here is that, even if you do develop a passion for exercise, it doesn’t always work and sometimes you have to suck it up and do something you don’t feel like doing. The reason why is that not following through can become a habit. And then your bad habit of ditching exercise eventually ends up replacing that hard-developed good habit of doing regular exercise...

I’m not saying you should never delay a workout. I’ve put off plenty in my day. But when you’re thinking about bailing out on exercise, take a few minutes and really think about it. Don’t just automatically crap out, but instead give yourself every chance to follow through. You can even try to trick yourself into doing it like I did this morning with a simple start of the clock...

Look, if all that fails and you still decide not to workout, then don’t beat yourself up about it. Just try to do better next time. We can't always win, but sometimes, like the situation I have put myself in with this 90 Day Life Change Challenge, you cannot give yourself the choice when all you are lacking is the will to continue... 

Take inventory, check for injury, get up, get dressed, stop procrastinating and for fuck's sake, just suck it up... 

Now get to work... I only tell you this shit because I love you... In fact love you like a pig loves not being bacon... A Little vegan humor for you...

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update... Pretty much on schedule... The exercise part is getting tedious but tedium is temporary... Life can get tedious once in a while and I'm not planning on ending that either, I will find my exercise motivation again soon... The guitar skills are increasing exponentially... I am gaining far more ground than I expected! The chords that have eluded me for years are finally beginning to ring true... I have some challenges to overcome because my left arm/wrist being broken multiple times... It's not as "bendy" as it could be but adjustments can be made and I am figuring them out one at a time... 

See you tomorrow... Looking forward to it... :)



Sunday, March 21, 2021

Day 70: It Was Just a Glitch... Press The Reset Button and Get Back to Work...

I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a big claim… The single biggest obstacles to sticking with a habit change, a new system, a goal or long-term project … is that we get disrupted. When our freight train of change gets derailed… Something interrupts our progress like we skip a workout day or two, or eleven… Then some programming in our brains turns that into a message of how we’re not good enough, we can’t do it, we should just give up. This stops so many people from making long-term progress.

It stops us from simply starting again.

This is because most of us don’t realize the power and magic of a New Beginning... A New Beginning is when we get to start over, with a blank slate. It’s waking up to a brand new morning, with a day we get to call “Day One” without guilt, without shame… In fact, a New Beginning can be rejuvenating to your mind and body.


When we miss a few days of meditation, or eat junk for a week because of various celebrations, or fall off from writing our book … instead of making that to mean that this whole thing is a waste of time or that we somehow suck … we can look at it with fresh eyes. I’m not simply reframing things to “be positive.” There’s a lot of power available to us in a New Beginning that we miss out on.

A New Beginning is miraculous:

• We can see the habit or project with fresh eyes, as if we’d never seen it before, and bring a sense of wonder and curiosity to what we’re doing. We now have experience with seeking our goal, a data that we can utilize, adjust and implement in new ways.

• There’s sacredness to letting everything go from the past and just showing up in a new moment. You can forgive yourself again and get started with a fresh excitement.

• We can learn something from the past failure or disruption, and use this new start as a way to get better, armed with this new data, so that every New Beginning becomes a new opportunity to learn, grow, and seek out our goal in a more intelligent manner…

• We get to reinvent ourselves, reinvent what we’re taking on, reinvent what we want to make our lives to be and attack our goals with a new mind.

• We can recommit, and remind ourselves of why we’re committed to our goal. We can recommit to a new relationship with ourselves as we take that first step with fresh eyes, fresh mind and a renewed excitement at the infinite possibilities of a new you…

This is all missed when we ignore the magic and power of a New Beginning!

The beautiful thing is that a New Beginning is available to us not only when we get disrupted or stumble… but in every moment of every day. Every new meditation or workout or renewed mindset to commit to your chosen goals…. Every New Beginning is an opportunity, and a prospect of success…

Guy Finley said it best… “Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.”

Consider every new breath you take as a fresh start, a New Beginning and an opportunity to take control of your mind, your body and your life.

Get back to work!

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… Straight killing it… Did my yoga this morning in the garage with the door open and timed it to do while the sun came up… The birds are magnificent… I feel great, look great, clear mind and so much focus and energy I am astounded…

See you in the morning… Enjoy your Sunday, not being morose but listen; you never know when it will be your last one… Like the old adage advises us, “Live every day like it’s your last one, because one day, it will be…”

Love you like seventh graders love unnecessary drama… 



Saturday, March 20, 2021

Day 69: Accepting Your Inner Chameleon... The Fluidity of Self Identity...

Some of the most powerful transformations I ever made when changing my life was the switching of identity... No, I’m not a secret agent and no I’m not schizophrenic nor do I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder)… I have done it several times in multiple aspects of my behavior and physical being… Just in the last 7 years I have altered my identity in major ways…

•   I changed from a drinker to a non-drinker and once I did, I stopped thinking of drinking as something to do when I was stressed.

•   I went from meat-eater to vegetarian (and later to vegan). It literally took meat off the menu for me, so that I didn’t even consider eating it.

•   I began to think of myself as someone who exercises regularly to stay fit and healthy. Later, I graduated to extreme athlete workout challenges. That meant that there was no question I was going to exercise, even if I fell out of it for a bit because of disruptions or injuries.

•   I became a meditator (and later Zen philosophy student). That means even if I stop meditating for a little bit, I’ll always come back to it.

•   I accepted the fact that I am an artist, a philosopher and now, a musician and that means that art and music are something that I appreciate, practice and am unashamed or embarrassed to talk about, even when I get overly passionate in a conversation…

•   Now, I am transforming into becoming a writer. Sure, before this change, I did write, but not daily… Add poet to that also, I have accepted my skill as a poet as a part of me that I am very proud of and I no longer hide...

•   I became a minimalist. Actually, even before I made the claim on the title, I had begun to unload the burden of carrying around all the shit that I felt was so important to me… Have you ever moved and had 1500+ books? It’s a fucking pain in the ass…This purposeful change in identity allowed me to free myself of clutter and enjoy a life of less.

There are dozens of other examples of identity changes in my later life: an early riser, reader, teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, someone who takes meticulous care of his finances … every time I’ve made a major (or minor) life change that stuck, I changed my identity.

It’s more powerful than most people realize, and it’s completely achievable to everyone who desires it... There are subtle benefits of changing your identity… While it takes a little work in some areas and in some cases a whole lot of work, if you can shift how you see yourself … You’ll notice some of these benefits that aren’t obvious to most people… These include thing like:

•   You will stop doing (some of) the behaviors that you used to do. Stop smoking, stop eating meat, stop playing video games, you will stop doing whatever someone with your identity wouldn’t do and start doing the things that categorize your new one…

•   You will make the behaviors of the person you want become a given. If you’re a writer, you write every day. No questions asked. If you’re an entrepreneur, you will uh, entrepreneur every day? Well, you know what I mean…

•   Things that you have had to always debate about are no longer a question. This saves you a lot of mental energy. It becomes much less of a daily struggle when you exercise daily instead of dreading it…

•   You get to change long-standing beliefs about yourself. That you can’t do this, that you’re no good at that, or that you aren’t someone who does this. Suddenly, you’re an artist simply because you believe you are… Then you produce some art and your life will be filled with conversations about art, just like an artist!

•   You begin to get a mindset that you can change anything. That you’re not stuck in old ways, but have become someone who can grow and become a creature of infinite possibilities.

There are more benefits, but I think you will discover them... Instead, it’s probably best to get to the “how to” part of the proposition….

Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as changing gears and suddenly you’re a new person. However, it’s within your capabilities…. You just have to change your mind…

It can be completed in multiple ways, but in bob Perrine fashion, here are some points I have found to be critically important:

•   Do it consciously. It is possible to change your identity without doing it intentionally but I’ve found that it to be much better if you do it intentionally. Make it an intention to consciously shift your identity in the area you desire.

•   Think about who you want to be. Do you want to be a person who writes every morning? A person who only eats plant-based foods? Someone who buys very little? Want to be a meathead with a sculpted body? Write down what you want to be: “I am a morning meditator.” This will focus your intentions and guide you towards your goal.

•   Intentionally start doing the actions. Set up visual reminders, phone reminders, whatever you need to do … but start doing the things that you would do if you’re this new version of yourself. If you’re a runner, go run, if you’re a writer, go write, if you’re an artist, pick your method and material and then art your ass off…

•   BE the new version of you. Doing the actions is one thing, but you might be doing it while thinking that this is “so not you.” Instead, do the actions as if you were already that person. See yourself as the runner, the early riser, the vegan, the artist, the philosopher…. Feel it in your being. Stand as this person; believe you are that person that you identify with!

•   Reinforce it by appreciating yourself. Each day, have a minute where you look back and see what you did and appreciate this about yourself. See that you’re already shifting. “Yeah, this is happening, good job me!” We tend to focus on the bumps in the road rather than the progress we’re making. Appreciate the poem you wrote, recognize the skills you are utilizing and know that they came from you! Welcome yourself into the arena that you chose… 

•   When you falter, think about what this new version of you would do. Notice I said “when you falter,” not “IF.” Even a Zen teacher misses a day of meditation sometimes. That’s a part of life. We don’t always do things “perfectly” … but a Zen teacher wouldn’t miss a day of meditation and then just give up. She’d just sit the next day. A runner will get back into it even after a week of disruption (maybe due to visitors, illness, travel, injury, etc.). Don’t think of the disruption as proof that you’re not a runner, but instead approach the disruption as if you are a runner.

Again, there are many other things you can do as your new identity and I suspect you’ll think of them… The “How” actually works itself out once you start to Be the new identity. I cannot believe what has happened to me in the last 70 days… What I thought was going to occur was completely wrong; the surprises are never ending… 

Now it’s important to note that creating a new identity for yourself and seeing yourself in a new way can also have some pitfalls. The biggest one is that you might create a fixed, rigid view of yourself. For example, say you create a new identity of yourself that you’re an early riser… That might create the rigid idea that you’ll never stay up late or sleep in a little. Say your family has a gathering that’s later in the evening, you may consider passing on the opportunity not because it will impact anything important, but because of a rigid view of yourself. There are lots of other possible examples: if I always work hard, then I can’t take a rest; if I am an expert in my field, then I can’t ever admit I’m wrong.

We don’t want our view of ourselves to limit us always. Some limits are helpful, if they’re chosen consciously (i.e. a limit of no meat means I don’t harm animals). If I consider myself a non-drinker, non-smoker then limits are necessary… Other limits can be unhelpful if they don’t let us do what would be beneficial in a situation or fully experience opportunities…

So while shifting identity can be helpful, I encourage you to not be too rigid. Think of your identity as fluid, something you can shift as needed, consciously.

Like most changes I recommend, I encourage you to pick one area at a time. Yes, I know that my Life Change Challenge has multiple aspects and it appears that I am not following my own advice… To that I say, if you are a badass, take it all on at once but prepare yourself for one hell of a tidal wave of revolutionized body, mind and personal philosophy… But for maximum chance of success, start out by not trying to shift everything about yourself all at once. Choose one, and apply the steps above.

Choose and then affirm daily:

“I am compassionate about myself.”

or

“I write every day because I am a writer.”

“Today I will work out like the champion I am.”

What would you like to try on?

You sure about that? Then get to fucking work…

See you tomorrow champ…

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… Took my own advice this morning and even though I woke up at 0455, I stayed in bed until 0545... Then instead of exercising, I relaxed until 0700... It was pretty nice to not be so rigid... Then I broke my 1/2 Murph record by almost a full minute.. Missed it by 00.00.00.73 seconds... Shit... hahahaha  While I was lounging this morning I was thinking about excuses and I came up with this quote for today...  "Excuses are just variations of saying I don't want to..." So next time you want to make an excuse, save yourself the mental energy and tell the truth... Then get to work...

See you all tomorrow… Sunday morning and a whole new week… Gonna be good… Love you guys like Timothy Leary loved LSD…