Day 71... When You Just Don't Feel Like It Anymore...

Including today, I have twenty days left in The 90 Day Life Change Challenge... I have worked out, eaten right, abstained from intoxicants, played my guitar, fasted daily and done all the things I said I would do for 70 straight days and excuse my crudeness, this morning I would have rather licked a bag full of assholes than worked out... I woke up when I was suppose to, snoozed for 9 minutes, sat up and regarded the next 2 hours of my life like I would view getting a vasectomy without anesthesia... I simply did not want to... I wasn't tired, I wasn't all that sore... I counted down from ten and I stood up... My legs weren't weak, my back didn't hurt but I had zero drive and zero motivation to work out... Nobody wants to do a 1/2 Murph, P90X3 Decelerator, A Plank Challenge, 220 squats and 44 pushups at 5:00 AM in the early ass morning... I glanced outside and it was pitch dark... More reason to hate my existence... I got dressed, bathroom, some water, turned on the music, set the timer to zero, and then... I stood there.. I calculated how many minutes I could just stand there... Everything ready and all I had to do was start that timer... I stood there recalculating the time... Then, without letting myself think...

I started the timer...

Let's talk about this a little... 

A number of times I’ve discussed how important it is to develop passion for the exercise you engage in. It’s passion and enjoying the act that gets you to be and stay active for hours each week, week after week, month after month, year after year... But sometimes, passion is lacking. Sometimes, you just really don’t fucking want to...  I’m writing this blog now because it happened to me this morning. I like morning exercise for a lot of reasons. I like the solitude. I like being slim and healthy. I like the feeling of exertion and accomplishment I get from it and I like to sweat. In fact, not just sweat, but I like the sweat dripping off my nose and being drenched from the physical exertion...

But this morning, the thought of doing burpees made me want to murder kittens...

I have daily guitar, writing, reading and lots of things I could have done instead and put off my workout until this afternoon...I wanted to do any of those things rather than workout. I’m in the middle of a really good book and for a moment I thought about ditching the workout and reading instead. I came close. Closer than I have ever over this expanse of seventy days... I was making excuses. I exercise a lot already. Postponing this morning shouldn’t make much difference. Skipping anything on purpose sends me back to day one and I imagine that would not be pleasant to be staring at three months in front of me again... I'm already looking forward to the next ninety days too much to sacrifice it to my temporary lethargy...  

Then the rational side of my brain kicked in. When you let the excuses take over once, they can do it again and again. Then one day instead of regular exercise it’s regular visits to Taco Bell and eventually regular trips to the cardiologist. I don’t want to be that guy.... 

So rather than make some snap-decision and say, “fuck it” and delay my workout, I actually took a moment to think about things objectively. I analyzed all my feelings about it and came up with the following facts:

• I wasn’t tired or over-trained; I just didn’t feel like working out...
• I knew that if I didn’t workout, I’d feel guilty afterwards...
• I knew that once I started working, it wouldn’t feel so bad...
• I knew that if I did actually motivate myself to do it when I didn’t want to, I’d feel extra good afterwards for sucking it up and persevering...
• I knew that I would regret my decision all day long and dread having to come home and end up doing a half assed workout...
• I have worked out feeling much, much worse...
• Finally, I count on myself to do this every day, no matter what the cost, no matter if I am injured, no matter how I feel...

Still, I really didn’t want to. Despite all the facts I’d come up with, my emotions were ruling and I was about to talk myself out of doing it. Then one quick idea popped into my head and I acted on it just start the clock... Click the "Start" button and get to work...

What I mean is, if I started the clock, then I’d pretty much have to workout…wouldn’t I? Of course I would, because that clock has to be beaten every single day, because it is the goal that I set for myself... And guess what? It worked. I did it. And you know what? It was a good workout, and I felt great about myself for persevering afterwards. It felt good to suck it up. This was a huge victory for me feeling like a workout warrior, and it will serve as a reminder the next time I really don’t want to... Today was an example of positive reinforcement at its most basic.

The lesson here is that, even if you do develop a passion for exercise, it doesn’t always work and sometimes you have to suck it up and do something you don’t feel like doing. The reason why is that not following through can become a habit. And then your bad habit of ditching exercise eventually ends up replacing that hard-developed good habit of doing regular exercise...

I’m not saying you should never delay a workout. I’ve put off plenty in my day. But when you’re thinking about bailing out on exercise, take a few minutes and really think about it. Don’t just automatically crap out, but instead give yourself every chance to follow through. You can even try to trick yourself into doing it like I did this morning with a simple start of the clock...

Look, if all that fails and you still decide not to workout, then don’t beat yourself up about it. Just try to do better next time. We can't always win, but sometimes, like the situation I have put myself in with this 90 Day Life Change Challenge, you cannot give yourself the choice when all you are lacking is the will to continue... 

Take inventory, check for injury, get up, get dressed, stop procrastinating and for fuck's sake, just suck it up... 

Now get to work... I only tell you this shit because I love you... In fact love you like a pig loves not being bacon... A Little vegan humor for you...

The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update... Pretty much on schedule... The exercise part is getting tedious but tedium is temporary... Life can get tedious once in a while and I'm not planning on ending that either, I will find my exercise motivation again soon... The guitar skills are increasing exponentially... I am gaining far more ground than I expected! The chords that have eluded me for years are finally beginning to ring true... I have some challenges to overcome because my left arm/wrist being broken multiple times... It's not as "bendy" as it could be but adjustments can be made and I am figuring them out one at a time... 

See you tomorrow... Looking forward to it... :)