For many years, I lamented the fact that I could not find peace... I realized that the degrees I earned and the jobs I chose made me miserable. Everything I tried, including my jobs and relationships would all fall into chaos because my search for peace within those systems failed over and over again... Like everyone, I heard that age old, worn out adage about "happiness comes from within..." and I wanted to kill the people who repeated it to me... Until, that day... You know, that day that I talk about quite a lot... Until the day that epiphany came out of nowhere and suddenly "happiness comes from within" had meaning... Real meaning... the kind of meaning that changes your life so drastically and so profoundly that you mentally stumble from the power of it...
This came around after a lifetime of searching for that elusive thing called peace... I thought happiness followed peace kinda like a one, two punch... Get peace and then find happiness... A lifetime of searching led me on what looked like a wild goose chase but all through that journey, I was learning... Epiphany comes from several pieces of information suddenly complimenting one another into a broader understanding of the inquiry... Now you may not even know you are gathering the information, but deep inside your psyche, there is a mechanism of thought that continuously tries to make sense of the world around you. Constantly gathering bits of information and trying to piece them together into a coherent construct so that we can garner some meaning from the circus we call our lives...
Now while I cannot convey my personal epiphany about personal happiness to you, I can give you some information that led me to mine... That would be the best I can do... Again, epiphanies are based on the experiences and information gathered from your personal journey... Your life, your puzzle but we all have similar questions, so allow me to make a few suggestions and see if it helps...
You will need to make some inner changes and remove negative influences from your life...
1. Spend your energy on things within your control
Let go of things you can’t control – like the weather, the bus being late, the behavior of others, traffic and long queues, the café running out of your favorite salad roll, or coming down with a cold. When you are late for something and you're in a long line, or behind a slow car and you feel that angst begin to rise up, close your eyes and repeat my mantra...
Fuck it...
When these things occur, let them gently wash over you like water off a duck’s back. Don’t let them disturb the sense of inner peace and contentment residing deep within your heart. Just say "Fuck it" and something magical will happen. All of a sudden you will have a wealth of free energy to spend on things you can control. Things like your dominant thoughts, your attitude, your behavior, your values, and how you live your life... Things like your daily lifestyle, exercise, food, career, passions, self-education, friends, fun and leisure time.
This is where your true power lies. Spend your time here, and watch how it transforms your life.
2. Adopt an optimistic worldview
We are taught to focus on problems, on fear, on protecting ourselves from all the things that could go wrong.
The world is a reflection of our dominant thoughts, so with this overly pessimistic outlook, problems and misfortunes are exactly what we find. We’re not able to see all the beauty, blessings, kindness, love, abundance and opportunity surrounding us in every moment simply because we’re not looking for it. We’ve trapped ourselves in a self-fulfilling prophecy with our negative stories about the world that we adopt from the news, world events, p[politics, Facebook, Twitter, the television and even our conversations with others... It seems so easy to fall into the negative discussions... Have you ever stopped to consider talking about the good things in your life might change your view of the world? We have all spent time thinking about something (a green car, a black pug, an engagement ring) and then all of a sudden you spot them everywhere? It’s the same with your life. Spend time focusing on the positive, and then all of a sudden you will see positive outcomes, serendipity and good fortune everywhere.
Adopt an optimistic worldview. Wake up and anticipate an amazing day. Feel excited about the infinite possibilities for your life. Notice all the love and gifts around you just waiting to be seen.
3. Forgive, forgive, forgive
The Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Learn to forgive other people when you perceive they have ‘wronged’ you. Have compassion for their situation they are fighting their own battle, they are doing their best. When you can see that others may not know any better, the situation changes. You don't have to continue the abuse, you can get the hell away from them but if you get away from them and still fight the battle of hate and blame in your mind, you haven't escaped anything...
This is one of the hardest habits to adopt in life, but it is also one of the most freeing. Don’t forget to extend your new forgiveness practice to yourself, either. You, as much as anyone, deserve your compassion and love.
4. Remember your higher purpose
Spend time doing the deep soul work to determine your values, your dream life vision, and your higher purpose and then use these to guide you in your daily life. It’s so easy to get trapped by inertia and fear, to procrastinate, and to make poor choices when we’re so ‘busy’ with life that we’ve forgotten what we love, what lights us up, and what we’re here for. Live the life you choose and not the one you settle for... Maybe your higher purpose in life is to learn to love yourself, to help others, to laugh, love, and for you to write, and motivate others...
Keep reminders of your perceived purpose nearby, and it makes decision making easy. Post you motivation on your bathroom mirror so it is the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night...You just need to weigh whether the action you’re about to take (or not take) will bring you closer to your higher purpose.
5. Be your own guide
It really does not fucking matter what other people think... Now you don't have to be hateful about that statement, not at all... But worrying about how other people view you and your life choices is like handing over control of your heart to someone else and going, ‘There you go. Please decide how happy and worthwhile I feel today’. The more you let your own intuition, inner voice, values and desires be your guide, the faster you can start living a genuine life. Consequently, mind-reading abilities are non-existent, you can’t know what others are truly thinking anyway. So when your ego starts to fill you with doubt, that people are thinking badly of you, it may be a load of bullshit...
Finally, don’t forget this: You're okay... Simple as that... You're okay... Just keep remembering to say "fuck it" and everything will be fine...
Now get to work, so much to do and so little time...
The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update: It was a great morning... The "don't want to blues" were gone and I just launched right into my triple workout without hesitation... today will be productive and pretty good if it keeps on this track... I cannot believe I am down under 30 days to go... I have done so many 30 day challenges, this seems like I'm cheating... Even if the day hands you a bag of shit, have a great day anyway, you deserve to...
See you all tomorrow and I hope that when I do, you have a genuine smile on your face because you discovered you kinda like yourself and you don't give a rat fuck what anyone else thinks...
Love you all like I love me, and that is a helluva lot...
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