Day 64: Setbacks, Delays and Bumps in the Road... Keep Moving Forward...

Sooner or later you're gonna have a snag in your routine... Like riding a motorcycle, it’s not if you wreck, it’s when and how bad you're going to wreck... Not a problem though... There are ways to deal with it... I like to think that there are three levels of people in the self-improvement world... Beginner, Intermediate and Beasts... The setback for the beginner will occur frequently, and there is nothing to panic about... Just look at it like you missed something and you will do better tomorrow. The intermediate will make fewer mistakes, miss fewer targets, and will usually make  it up either later in the day or if time runs out, they will pull a double the next day... The Intermediate doesn’t like to miss parts of their challenges but will occasionally forgive a missed workout, or a missed guitar practice… The Beast, well, The Beast will not let it go until the day's tasks are completed and it doesn't matter if they need to do squats at midnight even when they get up at 0500 the next day... The Beast will trash an entire set for a missed rep and start over. If they miss a workout on day 60 of a 90 Day Challenge, The Beast will return to day one. Nothing usually stops them, and few things get in their way.

Yesterday was hectic, I had a podcast, had to cook for the week, had to go shopping for food before I cooked… I got up early and knocked out the first workout but then the day got away from me and with Daylight Savings kicked in, my timing for the day was off and suddenly its 1900 and I’m looking at the day is gone, and my Challenge was only half done…

So I was doing squats at 2000 hours and Yoga at 2100 hours, shower, and guitar practice at almost 2200 hours… I got in my meditation and fell asleep afterwards… I don’t quit, I don’t cheat, and I will do pull-ups at midnight if that’s what the day called me to do… This isn’t a call for anyone to perform like me, but it is a call to everyone to perform to the best of their abilities, which, by the way, only very few do…

Strive to become a Beast but until then, learn to handle your setbacks with intelligence… They are not an excuse to quit, quite the opposite… Overcoming obstacles gives you pride and creates a new mindset of courage and strength.

So when my day got away from me and I had to stack up my tasks last night, it brought to mind that we all fail, we all stumble and sometimes we need some guidance on how to handle it…

Missing a workout once in a while or a section of a Challenge isn’t failure, when we look at these situations as failures, it distorts our reality. This distorted view can prevent us from seeing a situation for what it is. Without a clear picture of a situation, it can be impossible to pivot… A setback doesn’t have to be the end of the story. In fact, a setback might be exactly what you need to get where you want to be. Sometimes you need an obstacle thrown down in front of you because even though you are working out, your brain has shifted back into cruise control and when that happens, you aren’t performing at peak… You’ve lost your focus again and need to shift your mind back to the tasks at hand…

Here is how successful people handle setbacks. Take note.

 

1. They expect setbacks.

Everyone, including the successful person experiences setbacks. It goes hand in hand with trying something bigger and better. If you haven’t had one in a while, you’re not improving because improvements mean failures… Setbacks happen, so expect and accept them when they come. Setbacks are a badge of honor. It means that you are doing something hard. Embrace your badge of honor and own it.

2. They set time limits for disappointment.

Okay, you missed something… Yes, it is a failure, we all experience them… Allow yourself time to acknowledge your feelings of disappointment but put a time limit on how long you will focus on that feeling. You might still feel disappointment but redirect that emotional energy toward progress. Explore that emotion and learn from the effects it has on you. Let the negative sensations motivate you to avoid failing again. Once recognized, quickly move on to “now what?”

3. They rely on “now what?”

Successful people find a path to progress. They don’t stop… Reevaluate the “why it happened” and move forward from there making sure it either does not occur again or if it was unavoidable, have a plan for the next incidence.

4. They manage their blind spots.

If failure causes you to lose perspective, anticipate what will cause you to lose yours. I am naturally impatient, so when I can’t see the progress I had hoped for, I know my blind spot is lack of improvement. When I don’t see advances in strength gains, workout times or flexibility, I get impatient… I may see this as a setback that is entirely my fault and completely miss other contributing factors like I may have maxed out in strength or flexibility. That will keep me from accurately assessing what is really happening and what I need to do to adjust. So what’s your blind spot?

5. Less emotion and more information.

Objectively size up what happened. Was there an event or decision that created a change in course? Like yesterday was Daylight Savings Time and there were only 23 hours in the day and it completely fucked me up… Felt like no matter what I was doing, I couldn’t stay motivated and my concentration was off… there are lots of things that will come by to slow you down… Car break down, family emergencies and personal illness can stop you in your tracks, but you cannot let these unknown problems affect you emotionally when they arise unsuspectingly… Instead, when you find yourself getting frustrated, stop immediately, take a breath, and look at it analytically. If you make it to your desired goal that day, you don’t want to show up angry and frustrated, because that certainly won’t be a pleasant experience… When I realized it was almost 2000 hours last night, I felt anxiety arising in me because I still had so much to do, but I stopped and asked myself if that frustration was going to help me meet my goals… I decided that anxious yoga and stressed out guitar practice weren’t my plan and laughed… So facing negative emotions and analyzing your failures are much better choices than getting down on yourself and being angry or disappointed.

6. They think the long term rather than the short term...

If you look at the short term failure as catastrophic, you need to reframe your failure. One workout won’t affect your health goals, one missed practice won’t affect your long term goals to play the piano… A missed day doesn’t have much impact on the long term. Relax, adjust, and move forward…

7. They learn what must be learned.

You must possess a confident willingness to learn what must be learned. Rather than saying I could never lose the weight, successful people determine what they must learn to become what they imagine they can become. Learn to surround yourself with those who knew what you don’t know. Read blogs, read self-help books, talk to others around you who have succeeded at what you are trying to do. Your lack of knowledge is a path that must be followed rather than a dead end.

8. They manage their self-talk.

Setbacks and disappointment create self-doubt. Manage your internal self judgements so you stay focused on the future and what you can do next. That self-talk can be destructive, but it can also be the most powerful, life changing force available if you can change your inner monologue.  Give yourself credit for doing important work and trying something new. You are in the game, play as hard as you can and when you make a mistake, or miss something, don’t quit, the next shot just might change everything.

 

After all, a setback is a setup for a comeback.