Most, if not all of us have something on our to do list that we’re avoiding. Or a project we’ve been putting off. You know that thing you would really like to see get done but you would rather run with the bulls in Pamplona than actually do it yourself…
Stop and think for a moment: what’s the task or project you’ve been avoiding lately? Is it that book or blog you’ve been meaning to write? Perhaps that business you’ve wanted to create for years that you have the idea for but no plan? Maybe the garage, closets, and drawers you’ve been meaning to declutter and simplify your life a little more? What about that email account that has 1500 unopened emails that’s been sitting in your inbox for three months? Maybe you’ve been wanting to start exercising or starting some health plan?
So what is it you’ve been avoiding? Sit back, close your eyes and identify it now before you move on. If you have more than one, open a note in your phone or if you’re old, get a pen and paper and write that shit down… Make it real, not just an idea floating in your head...
In this blog, let’s take a look at why you’re avoiding it, and how to actually make it happen…
Why We Avoid the Thing
We often spend our days doing everything but the hard thing we don’t want to do. We will research something to death instead of actually just doing the thing. We’ll talk about it, read about it, buy all the equipment for it, but not actually do the thing. We’ll do all of our small tasks, and check social media or the news instead of doing the thing. We can plan all week to do it on Saturday and Saturday comes and we have a whole list of little things we want to do “so we can focus” on the task and then when we burn the morning on the small things, we figure, “that’s good, I got a lot of shit done…” Except we didn’t get a lot of shit done, we got some stuff finished that maybe even didn’t need done and nothing was done that we planned… That’s not progress…
Why? We are overwhelmed…. We don’t want to feel like we don’t know what we’re doing. We don’t want to feel weighed down, we don’t want to feel like we’re not good enough, and we don’t want to feel like a failure or disappointment. Most big projects take large amounts of effort and we simply don’t want to expend that much time and energy and end up half finished… We’re protecting ourselves from feeling that. So we do everything else, out of protection.
Of course, it doesn’t work. Avoiding doing the thing actually just makes us feel more overwhelmed, more like a failure or disappointment, more stupid or not good enough.
Avoidance does not work. The garage isn’t a guy you went out on a date with last weekend and if you avoid him long enough, he will give up… The garage is a crazy ex that’s just going to get worse if you don’t take care of it…
So how can we stop avoiding, and actually do the thing? Well, we do the thing by deciding to do the thing. Like, deciding decisively to do it. The best way? Don’t over think it, in fact, don’t think about it at all, just walk out into the garage, turn on your music and just start working… Or sit down and just start writing… Or just start doing whatever it is you need to do… Pause for a moment and actually consider that thing you are personally avoiding, that something that I asked you to identify at the beginning of the blog. Did you do it then? Do you already have a little plan? Make it happen…
We usually don’t want to face fact that we are avoiding something, so it can help to have someone else to talk to about it, to report to, to discuss that commitment. Every day, tell someone close to you what hard thing you’re going to do, and by when. Then report to them when you get it done…
Use these techniques to get there…
Decide to do it, and then don’t waver. Don’t let yourself argue about it. When you decide to do it, just commit and do it.
Do it at a certain time: tell yourself you’re going to do it at 1000 on Saturday, then set a reminder. Do it when the reminder goes off. Psyche yourself up, if it helps. Play some motivating music, get a cup of coffee, clear distractions, and then pour yourself into it. Do the countdown I taught you… 5-4-3-2-1 and then do it! Don’t talk, just work.
Get into the action habit. The habit of recognizing what you’re avoiding, turning towards it (instead of away from it), and then just starting. Get small victories. Small victories are incredibly powerful. Avoiding doing a big task? Do 5 minutes of it. Do 10 minutes. Eventually, doing an hour of it will be much easier, but do the smallest possible chunk, and get a victory. Celebrate it! Do a dance, do a Michael Jackson crouch grab and squeal, just acknowledge to yourself that you are winning… Then get another victory, and another, and another…. With practice, the habit of doing the thing you’re avoiding can become so much easier.
Paradoxically, by doing the things you are avoiding, it will make your life so much easier… By getting things done, you’re life will streamline and by stopping the bullshit avoidance lies in your head, your thoughts will streamline…
Listen, you’re going to die with a To Do list in your pocket, so just work through it and enjoy the ride but for god’s sake, quit procrastinating, the only thing it does is frustrate you...
Now go have the day you intend to have… A little side note here from one of my readers… She said that she had took my advice and intended to have a good day and it turned to shit on her… Intelligently, she considered what was happening and turned it around, but not by controlling her day, she controlled her emotions about the day… She figured out that you can have a totally fucked up day and still manage to be happy at the end of it… Smart chick… It’s all good, she doesn’t mind when I call her a chick, because she is cool like that…
The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… Relaxed morning... Went about it slow and steady without the\"gotta get this done" feeling... So that means I am about 10 minutes behind schedule today... Whatever... P90X3 was The Challenge so today I did 359 push-ups and 168 pull-ups in a total of 49 minutes... Let's just say, typing is hard right now... I wonder if I will be able to comb my hair after my shower?
Can you believe we are getting so close to the end of this? I’m pretty stoked… I’m up 2% on body fat... I’ve been eating a bit too much peanut butter… Oh well, I enjoyed it… Time to lean back out… Fuuuuuuuuuuuck….. hahahahaha
Love you like Johnny Cash loved singing about prison… See you tomorrow…
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