Some of the most powerful transformations I ever made when changing my life was the switching of identity... No, I’m not a secret agent and no I’m not schizophrenic nor do I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder)… I have done it several times in multiple aspects of my behavior and physical being… Just in the last 7 years I have altered my identity in major ways…
• I changed from a drinker to a non-drinker and once I did, I stopped thinking of drinking as something to do when I was stressed.
• I went from meat-eater to vegetarian (and later to vegan). It literally took meat off the menu for me, so that I didn’t even consider eating it.
• I began to think of myself as someone who exercises regularly to stay fit and healthy. Later, I graduated to extreme athlete workout challenges. That meant that there was no question I was going to exercise, even if I fell out of it for a bit because of disruptions or injuries.
• I became a meditator (and later Zen philosophy student). That means even if I stop meditating for a little bit, I’ll always come back to it.
• I accepted the fact that I am an artist, a philosopher and now, a musician and that means that art and music are something that I appreciate, practice and am unashamed or embarrassed to talk about, even when I get overly passionate in a conversation…
• Now, I am transforming into becoming a writer. Sure, before this change, I did write, but not daily… Add poet to that also, I have accepted my skill as a poet as a part of me that I am very proud of and I no longer hide...
• I became a minimalist. Actually, even before I made the claim on the title, I had begun to unload the burden of carrying around all the shit that I felt was so important to me… Have you ever moved and had 1500+ books? It’s a fucking pain in the ass…This purposeful change in identity allowed me to free myself of clutter and enjoy a life of less.
There are dozens of other examples of identity changes in my later life: an early riser, reader, teacher, speaker, entrepreneur, someone who takes meticulous care of his finances … every time I’ve made a major (or minor) life change that stuck, I changed my identity.
It’s more powerful than most people realize, and it’s completely achievable to everyone who desires it... There are subtle benefits of changing your identity… While it takes a little work in some areas and in some cases a whole lot of work, if you can shift how you see yourself … You’ll notice some of these benefits that aren’t obvious to most people… These include thing like:
• You will stop doing (some of) the behaviors that you used to do. Stop smoking, stop eating meat, stop playing video games, you will stop doing whatever someone with your identity wouldn’t do and start doing the things that categorize your new one…
• You will make the behaviors of the person you want become a given. If you’re a writer, you write every day. No questions asked. If you’re an entrepreneur, you will uh, entrepreneur every day? Well, you know what I mean…
• Things that you have had to always debate about are no longer a question. This saves you a lot of mental energy. It becomes much less of a daily struggle when you exercise daily instead of dreading it…
• You get to change long-standing beliefs about yourself. That you can’t do this, that you’re no good at that, or that you aren’t someone who does this. Suddenly, you’re an artist simply because you believe you are… Then you produce some art and your life will be filled with conversations about art, just like an artist!
• You begin to get a mindset that you can change anything. That you’re not stuck in old ways, but have become someone who can grow and become a creature of infinite possibilities.
There are more benefits, but I think you will discover them... Instead, it’s probably best to get to the “how to” part of the proposition….
Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as changing gears and suddenly you’re a new person. However, it’s within your capabilities…. You just have to change your mind…
It can be completed in multiple ways, but in bob Perrine fashion, here are some points I have found to be critically important:
• Do it consciously. It is possible to change your identity without doing it intentionally but I’ve found that it to be much better if you do it intentionally. Make it an intention to consciously shift your identity in the area you desire.
• Think about who you want to be. Do you want to be a person who writes every morning? A person who only eats plant-based foods? Someone who buys very little? Want to be a meathead with a sculpted body? Write down what you want to be: “I am a morning meditator.” This will focus your intentions and guide you towards your goal.
• Intentionally start doing the actions. Set up visual reminders, phone reminders, whatever you need to do … but start doing the things that you would do if you’re this new version of yourself. If you’re a runner, go run, if you’re a writer, go write, if you’re an artist, pick your method and material and then art your ass off…
• BE the new version of you. Doing the actions is one thing, but you might be doing it while thinking that this is “so not you.” Instead, do the actions as if you were already that person. See yourself as the runner, the early riser, the vegan, the artist, the philosopher…. Feel it in your being. Stand as this person; believe you are that person that you identify with!
• Reinforce it by appreciating yourself. Each day, have a minute where you look back and see what you did and appreciate this about yourself. See that you’re already shifting. “Yeah, this is happening, good job me!” We tend to focus on the bumps in the road rather than the progress we’re making. Appreciate the poem you wrote, recognize the skills you are utilizing and know that they came from you! Welcome yourself into the arena that you chose…
• When you falter, think about what this new version of you would do. Notice I said “when you falter,” not “IF.” Even a Zen teacher misses a day of meditation sometimes. That’s a part of life. We don’t always do things “perfectly” … but a Zen teacher wouldn’t miss a day of meditation and then just give up. She’d just sit the next day. A runner will get back into it even after a week of disruption (maybe due to visitors, illness, travel, injury, etc.). Don’t think of the disruption as proof that you’re not a runner, but instead approach the disruption as if you are a runner.
Again, there are many other things you can do as your new identity and I suspect you’ll think of them… The “How” actually works itself out once you start to Be the new identity. I cannot believe what has happened to me in the last 70 days… What I thought was going to occur was completely wrong; the surprises are never ending…
Now it’s important to note that creating a new identity for yourself and seeing yourself in a new way can also have some pitfalls. The biggest one is that you might create a fixed, rigid view of yourself. For example, say you create a new identity of yourself that you’re an early riser… That might create the rigid idea that you’ll never stay up late or sleep in a little. Say your family has a gathering that’s later in the evening, you may consider passing on the opportunity not because it will impact anything important, but because of a rigid view of yourself. There are lots of other possible examples: if I always work hard, then I can’t take a rest; if I am an expert in my field, then I can’t ever admit I’m wrong.
We don’t want our view of ourselves to limit us always. Some limits are helpful, if they’re chosen consciously (i.e. a limit of no meat means I don’t harm animals). If I consider myself a non-drinker, non-smoker then limits are necessary… Other limits can be unhelpful if they don’t let us do what would be beneficial in a situation or fully experience opportunities…
So while shifting identity can be helpful, I encourage you to not be too rigid. Think of your identity as fluid, something you can shift as needed, consciously.
Like most changes I recommend, I encourage you to pick one area at a time. Yes, I know that my Life Change Challenge has multiple aspects and it appears that I am not following my own advice… To that I say, if you are a badass, take it all on at once but prepare yourself for one hell of a tidal wave of revolutionized body, mind and personal philosophy… But for maximum chance of success, start out by not trying to shift everything about yourself all at once. Choose one, and apply the steps above.
Choose and then affirm daily:
“I am compassionate about myself.”
or
“I write every day because I am a writer.”
“Today I will work out like the champion I am.”
What would you like to try on?
You sure about that? Then get to fucking work…
See you tomorrow champ…
The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update… Took my own advice this morning and even though I woke up at 0455, I stayed in bed until 0545... Then instead of exercising, I relaxed until 0700... It was pretty nice to not be so rigid... Then I broke my 1/2 Murph record by almost a full minute.. Missed it by 00.00.00.73 seconds... Shit... hahahaha While I was lounging this morning I was thinking about excuses and I came up with this quote for today... "Excuses are just variations of saying I don't want to..." So next time you want to make an excuse, save yourself the mental energy and tell the truth... Then get to work...
See you all tomorrow… Sunday morning and a whole new week… Gonna be good… Love you guys like Timothy Leary loved LSD…
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