Here’s the deal… When you reach the low points, sitting there in your own shit only accomplishes one thing… If you don't move, you get used to the smell of your own shit… How many times have you been bored and thought, I should do “X” and “X” sounds like a really good idea and you continue in your non-action… Wait long enough and you can even make “X” sound stupid. I mean, you only had one reason for wanting to do it, because it sounded good at inception, then instead of acting on it, you sit and build a case against doing it, then you don’t have to move and can continue in your boredom satisfied that your boredom is better than action…
Those are just in the short term. We think we should go to
the store, or take a shower, or get some work done and hours later, we are
still sitting there watching television… As far as long term, those are even
easier to dismiss because we have dismissed them so many times that our excuses
are like a list that we simply read to ourselves every time the issue arises. “I
think I need to lose weight” is immediately met with, Monday, I will start… By
the time Monday comes, that thought is long gone… Your crappy life is your fault
and even though you know it, your excuses make it okay even though you know
that they are excuses… The circle of denial turns in your head like a hamster
on steroids running on a wheel…
Complicated, but making things complicated is the way human
beings continue their chosen but not wanted path… Isn’t it odd that we complain
about our addictions, complain about our lives, complain about our weight,
fitness level, poor health, how shitty we wake up feeling, how we are always
tired, and just about anything and everything imaginable and the really fucking
crazy part? Most of it is completely within our control… We could either make
the changes ourselves and if we cannot, we can change our attitude about it… Hate
your weight? Change it or accept the responsibility… Hate the way you feel?
Change it or accept the responsibility… Tired every morning? Go to fucking bed earlier... Whatever you dislike, you can change it…
If it cannot be changed, then continuing to complain, whine, and use your
negative attitude as a weapon is self-defeating and destructive
to you and those around you.
Part of the problem is that you are waiting until you feel
like it. When “the right time” comes, you will act on it… So many of our
regrets in life are caused by our decision to wait until we feel “ready” to do
something instead of overcoming our own excuses and self-doubt and doing it
anyway. You are never going to be ready to suffer through change... You should just begin… So
what should you do… Well, to get started, try this… When you’re sitting on the
couch and the thought comes to you, ”I should get up, take a shower and go to the store and get some
healthy food…” GET THE FUCK UP IMMEDIATLEY… Don’t wait until the show is over,
it’s a show… Your minor inconvenience at not seeing which NCIS guy will break
the case or if Gilligan will get off the island this week is far less important
than your health… Get moving, it’s doing the little things that will develop
your ability to change the big stuff… When your brain tells you to put down the
cigarette, bong, or glass of vodka, listen to the voice… It’s not just any voice, it’s the cry of a "better you" drowning in your addictions. If you're not worried about the voice in
your head now, maybe you will worry when it goes silent…
Trust me, I am proof that you can become a radically
different person, and you can blossom into the real happy self-loving inspired
passionate soul you were born to be. I am proof that you can totally transform
your life… You can create a career, body weight, home, lifestyle, relationships,
and friendship groups that truly light you up.
So let’s get some solid ground to stand on and get started…
You don’t need to follow my path, you do need to find a path though and if you’ve
ever been hiking, you take the path well-traveled to get started and then maybe
find your own way… So take these recommendations,
modify, alter, adapt, change and amend them in any way, shape or form, but get
started… Rename them, lie and pretend you made them up if you have to… this isn’t
about me, it’s about you… A better you means that everyone around you,
including you has a better life… Get busy now…
Step One…
I started meditating. I remember when I started meditating it
was excruciatingly painful. Now I sit for 15 – 20 minutes every morning and I
love it. Meditation was the doorway to so many new things for me. It taught me
to be more present in my daily life. It taught me to witness or observe my
thoughts and feelings instead of getting hooked by them. Now before you reject
this, remember that you can call meditation whatever you want… Call it prayer,
or quiet time or taking a shower… Whenever you can get a quiet mind and are
able to calmly observe your thoughts without reacting to them emotionally. Instead
of having an emotional meltdowns, I feel complete peace. That is the power of
meditation. It naturally turns you into a calmer, more peaceful person. Make it
a part of your daily routine.
Step Two…
I sought out some help... This part of my adventure isn't so glamorous... At my lowest point, I went to the Mental Health Clinic and I acquired some help. Spent a few months with a wonderful therapist and found some direction in my chaotic life, learned to accept myself for who I was... Dealt with the things that had bothered me for years and I got my shit together, so to speak... This after spending most of my life in a toxic culture being told that only "faggots and women" go to therapy and spending a trauma filled life trying to deal with my own PTSD because I didn't want to endanger my masculinity and then I discovered how much courage it takes to seek out help... So listen, if you're being told that only the weak seek out help, please ignore that because it isn't "being tough" dealing with mental health issues on your own, its suicide, sometimes literally... Go get help... At the risk of being offensive here, I'm still not sure if I am a faggot or a woman because all the people who told me that don't talk to me anymore, or maybe I don't talk to them anymore... Go figure... Remember how that recent post talked about sometimes you just have to let negative people slip into obscurity... Yeah, I wasn't kidding, sometimes assholes simply cannot be tolerated and they just have to go...
Step Three...
I got clear on my purpose and vision. There is a saying
which goes: If you don’t know where you are going, you may end up where you are
heading. This was me for most of my life. I didn’t know my true dreams or
desires, so I floated along, doing what I thought I should do rather than what
I wanted to do. So now I think about my end goal. What do you want my life to
look like? What type of person do I want to be? What do you want my family and
outside relationships to look like? What do I want my career to look like?
Step Four…
I discovered self-care isn’t selfish and not utilizing it is
dangerous as hell… I lived a life of complete guilt if I did anything for myself
and often this led to a growing anger and many broken relationships. I stifled
myself and couldn’t even take myself out to a movie without anxiety and guilt
that I was doing something for myself. This created anger at my partners
because I devoted most of my time doing things for others. This was my choice,
my perceptions and my mistake… These last few years have been an wakening of
self-care as normal, essential and
completely necessary to maintain mental
health. Before the pandemic I was regularly going to the movies and getting lost in them like you're supposed to instead of anxiously awaiting the end and trying to get home before something happened to somebody, somewhere and I would have been to blame because I was watching Ironman make snarky quips to his Avenger buddies...
I think I'm winning...
Step Five...
You've heard it before... Get busy living or get busy dying... Step five is to do what I do... Lay there, decide to get up, count backwards from ten and at zero, smile, grit your fucking teeth and get started doing whatever it is you've chosen to do...
Good luck, and get to work...
The 90 Day Life Change Challenge update... Woke up sore, tired, unmotivated and a little emotionally down... Just worn down from a long week... So I threw my pillows off the bed, turned on the lights, counted down from ten and got my groove on... Posted my best 1/2 Murph time of the week, Started my 5 Minute Plank Challenge for the last 30 days, did day whatever the hell day it is for the 5000 Squat/1000 Push-ups Challenge and did the hated P90X3 Workout of all time: CXV... I completed it with a smile on my sweaty face... Goes to show you, time and time again, it AIN"T about how you feel, it's about how much discipline you have... I got plenty, even let you borrow a cup if you would like...
I will see you all tomorrow and we are about 4 weeks from the end now... Incredible, I definitely see a light at the end of this tunnel... Love you like a guy loves a funny girl with great glutes...
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